meet brother jeff

This is brother Jeff.

jeffmaddie

 

Normally, I’d just call him “brother” but I figured you needed an introduction.

That’s his name – brother. Mine is sister.

We’re so creative, I know.

It beats my old name before he could do the double ‘S’ plus ‘ICA.’  

He ran around calling me “Sek-a”

I made the mistake of telling Tim my nickname once…and now, every so often after he’s tried to get my attention for ten minutes and I’m not listening, he’ll be all, “HEEEY! SEK-AAA!”

Totally humiliating…especially in public places like a crowded mall or movie theater or grocery store. I’ve never seen more people do the rapid ducking motion as if trying to avoid having their face smashed by a heavy object, coupled with a wide-eyed look all,  DEAR GOD I PROMISE NEVER TO FART ON THE DOG AGAIN…JUST PLEASE DO NOT LET THAT MAN BE CALLING TO ME.

No worries, people.

It’s me.

Right over here.

Now, please excuse me while I throw dagger eyes at my husband.

Anyway, brother Jeff is our resident live-in baby sitter (isn’t he playing so nice with tiny Maddie??) for the girls while Tim and I are…

IN THE NORTH!

(aka Rochester)

All my posts will be coming from Tim’s childhood home for the next few days.

Aren’t you excited?

You get to meet Tim’s family.

The same family who did THIS to me one Christmas.

(did you read it?)

Well, if you were a good blog reader or if you’re a lazy ass – it doesn’t matter…the result is the same:

Who the hell knows what’ll happen.

I never do.

It’ll be a surprise for all of us.

OH!

Did I mention there are REAL LIVE ITALIANS staying with Tim’s parents?

That we have to share a bathroom with?

That don’t speak English?

Exactly.

See you in Rochester.

Ciao!

(shit…that’s French…no, wait…Wikipedia says it’s also Italian. And Wikipedia…definitely a reliable source…).

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10 Responses to “meet brother jeff”


  1. 1 Daphne September 18, 2009 at 8:24 am

    First, yes, I read it. Second, good luck. Donald’s family has several running jokes on me. I have managed to avoid some of the traditional family tricks and I have been privy to playing them on unsuspecting “out-laws” as well. I had to learn that they make fun of me because they like me. And it’s healthy to laugh at myself. Yeah. Enjoy!

  2. 3 KB September 18, 2009 at 8:36 am

    Awww, the “cousins” (as we call our visitors from Italy) are sooo sweet. It’ll all be good Jessica – bathroom sharing and all. Can’t wait to see you guys TOMORROW!! Colton is waiting anxiously to meet Uncle Tim and Aunt Jessica.

  3. 4 Kate September 18, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Deeeeep breaths are key to your survival…. and secret plots against the sweet family taking you in!!

  4. 5 Peggy Nolan September 18, 2009 at 9:51 am

    Have fun in Rochester! And don’t get tossed under the bus too much 😉

  5. 6 Breeza September 18, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Ciao is definitely Italian. Not French.
    Here’s to no more surprise presents! 🙂 Have fun!

  6. 7 Erin September 18, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Just say “prego” a lot around the Italians. It’s a fun word, and it makes the rest of them think you want spaghetti sauce. Or are expecting a baby.

  7. 8 Angelia September 18, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Jessica, there is a 24/7 Italian LE tutor app for iPhone, I think it’s free. Wouldn’t that be fun? You could talk to them. Lol. The expression on your face after opening that present says it all. Too funny!

  8. 9 darlingdamsel September 18, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    Hahaha .. oh my! You married into the family. Smile.

    And your nicknames are so innocous relative to mind (pick between Pamper Princess or Penefany). My brothers still use them in public places. I love being the baby girl of several wild boys.

    Stefanie

  9. 10 bevchen September 19, 2009 at 5:38 am

    Yes, I did read it. Your faxce on that picture is priceless! And after that you still married into the family – you’re brave 😉

    Have fun in Rochester!


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