the answers…don’t you want them?

I had to write half of this on my iPhone…half on the laptop.

Why?

THE COMPUTER CRASHED.

Remember that external hard drive that I got for my “going away” present?

Well, it’s currently storing all of our documents and emails and ENTIRE LIFE.

Damn computer.

You want to know why there haven’t been any pictures? No? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.

STUPID DAMN COMPUTER.

We’re getting a Mac. We’re done with PCs. This is the SECOND TIME this computer has crashed and it’s still UNDER WARRANTY…not like it’s some beast from 1990. Or, maybe it is…maybe that’s their million dollar idea. Refurbished hard drives…really old ones…inside new plastic. Who’ll ever know?

Well, whatever it is they’re doing, this time, we weren’t caught unawares and saved everything BEFORE IT WENT TITS UP (I’m so pissed I’m turning British…).

Tim finally decided to ask for help on Sunday night…after he ran all these disk checkup/clean up/defragmentation things that made the computer beep and stay this bright blue color.

He just kept saying something about how all these different sectors were bad.

In other words, the computer was telling us: I’M ABOUT TO BLOW UP.

So, Sunday night, I’m minding my own business…sitting in the family room draped over a chair, trying to keep an eye on two dogs and bang out a few words and then, amongst all the beeping and swearing from the computer room, I hear, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.”

And – cause I’m trying to get better at the whole listening thing – I’m all, WHAT? WHAT?

And Tim goes, “Our support dude.”

Me: “What about him?”

Tim: “Jesus. His name…is Jesus.”

Me: “Well, Jesus better get on with the whole parting the sea and water to wine and SAVING. OUR. COMPUTER.”

Then…silence…until a few minutes later when Tim pops his head out, looks at me and says, “He just told me: “Hard drive. New one. Mail. Address, thank you. Please.”

Our Jesus…with broken English.

Anyhow…my point…I suppose I should reign myself back in…cause I could go on about this stupid damn computer for days…

You asked the questions….

Here are the answers…dripping wet with honesty.

What does ‘Booshy’ stand for? Let’s just start with this: “Booshy” isn’t in Miriam Websters Dictionary as a widely accepted word. It isn’t even on Wikipedia. No, it’s on Urban Dictionary. URBAN DICTIONARY. As in, get me mah grill and da bling.

I’m going to give it to you, straight from said dictionary, unedited:

“Booshy”: The word used to describe a scenario which is remeniscant of or has qualitys that would be expected from an episode of “The Mighty Boosh”

I don’t even know what “The Mighty Boosh” is…but there needs to be a petition for an accurate definition. I don’t think a dictionary that misspells REMINISCENT AND QUALITIES deserves any street cred.

Just sayin.

What does booshy REALLY mean? ‘Booshy’ is the outcome of an action you do without thinking. As in: Honey, you blew up the kitchen. That was booshy. I even have synonyms: stupid, idiotic, air-headed, scatterbrained…

If you were a tree, what tree would you be and why? A birch tree. I’m in love with them and their white trunks and peeling bark pieces and brilliantly colored leaves in the fall and how, when there are entire forests of them (“forest” to me is more than ten), they cast these shadows on each other and on the ground…

Definitely a birch tree. They’re awesome.

What is the biggest relationship challenge that you ever had with Tim? Wow. What isn’t a challenge? Marriage is no cake walk…so if you’re headed down the marital vows path, you’ve been warned. It takes a ridiculous amount of effort. Every single day.

But, seriously, I think the biggest part of growing together and becoming a true “married couple” has been learning how to give up real estate – both physically (Tim’s gotten used to getting 1/16th of the bed) and emotionally (I’ve learned to admit that sometimes I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about). We’ve finally accepted that one person is better at a task than the other – even if it was a task we did ALL THE TIME before we were together. Take, for example, putting food into the refrigerator after we come back from the grocery store. I always did that. Always. Then, enter Tim, Cold Food Put-Away champion. We used to argue about who would put the pickles and meat and salad ingredients away.

WE WOULD ARGUE. ABOUT PUTTING AWAY FOOD.

Complete waste of….everything really. No sense in getting your panties in a wad all day over that.

Finally, I relinquished hold over the refrigerator. Now, I just stack all the cold items on the counter and leave Tim to do the rest.

And he leaves the pantry to me…along with putting things away in small, tight spaces. I’m like, the Puzzle Master and Tim, on the other hand, bangs on the pieces until they fit (he has puzzles from when he was a kid at his parents house where every single piece has handmade rounded edges).

His banging just doesn’t work so well with things like glass ornaments and old trophies or platinum and diamond encrusted crystal glasses (ok..so no crystal glasses, but you get the idea).

Are you going to move out of Georgia anytime soon? Had we won the lottery, we’d already be gone. Unfortunately, we’ve yet to figure out how to become independently wealthy…which means our moving depends on Tim getting a job in Utah or Colorado or Wyoming or Montana or Oregon or Washington…or my blog becoming so insanely popular we can live wherever we want…

Exactly. It all depends on Tim’s job prospects.

What infuriates you? Billboards written in only in Spanish…WE’RE IN AMERICA, PEOPLE. I didn’t go to Paris expecting to be spoken to in English (Tim was my hand-gesture-translator)…people who drive like retards…hearing I haven’t “paid my dues,” hypocrites…doing the laundry…

What is my favorite Fall comfort food? I’m extraordinarily boring when it comes to food. I like the SAME THINGS ALL THE TIME. Ask Tim what I like to eat for dinner and he’ll say salad. However, there are two things I do like when it’s a bit colder outside. One I was introduced to during summer camp as a kid (go figure): Tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich. My other favorite is a Thanksgiving thing…(is that Fall or Winter?) that Tim introduced me to a few years ago: a croissant layered with stuffing, cranberry sauce (must be the canned kind) and turkey – all cold or no warmer than room temperature.

Don’t knock it til you try it.

If you could redo any part of your life without affecting the rest, what would it be? That’s tough…because I feel like if I had done anything differently…I wouldn’t be here now. Do I wish I went to grad school RIGHT OUT OF undergrad? Sometimes…but if I had, I wouldn’t have met Tim…and I wouldn’t be writing this now.

If I were to be remembered for something, what would it be and why? I could give the canned response…something like, “being an excellent wife and (future) mother and a do-gooder to all human kind…and Oh! World Peace!”

But that would be a complete load of crap.

If I am to come clean…then I’ll tell you what I’ve said to Tim since day 1: I want to leave my mark on this world…one that doesn’t disappear with my lineage or fade over time. I’m not saying I’ll be the next Shakespeare, but I want to create a piece – or pieces – of literature that people will love to curl up and read on a rainy day or pass along in a book club or hand out in a classroom (ok…maybe NOT the classroom…but I’ve always been all, go big or go home).

I want to be remembered…by more than just my family. Is that too selfish? I don’t think so. If no one had those kinds of dreams…the world would be a pretty boring place.

What’s your favorite item in your closet? Either my growing collection of sun dresses or Coach purses. Tim started buying me the purses a few years ago for birthdays after I fell in love with one that was all patchworky. He had to drag me out of the store…like you would a screaming two year old. The dresses… I con him into buying whenever we’re out and I see one I like…all it takes is my trying them on. Then, as his brain is trying to make his mouth form the word “no,” an enthusiastic “ABSOLUTELY!” pops out before he has a chance to censor himself. By that point, it’s too late. I win.

What is your best and worst moment of your life? The worst is actually a lot easier to come up with than the best – as sad as that is. The absolute worst moment, without a doubt, was the summer before I went into third grade (mom, if you’re reading this…skip to the next question). My cousin had invited me to go to Captiva Island – their summer vacation spot, while the rest of my family were staying at my Grandma’s house (my dad’s mom) in Jacksonville. Their house was on a canal that led out to the ocean. They had a sail boat and a dock…but no fence between the backyard and the waters edge.

The trip to Captiva was cut short one morning when my aunt and uncle packed us up and drove us back to Omi’s house (my mom’s mom) with no explanation other than “work needs us.” When they pulled up to Omi’s, it was dusk. I was greeted by my mom and dad, my brothers, Jeff and Travis, nowhere in sight. They didn’t give me a hug or say welcome home. They sat me down on a lawn chair in the driveway, looked at me square in the face said three words that still haunt me to this day: “Jessica, Travis died.”

Travis. My three-year-old brother…had fallen into the canal behind my Grandma’s house and drowned…a horrible, horrible accident…

I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

That one tragic incident has shaped the rest of my life…it’s why I write. I discovered that with writing, I could get out all of the hurt and pain and emotions I couldn’t describe with spoken words.

I don’t even have a transition for my best moment…so I’ll just haphazardly move forward. If you’re wondering about my sibling tree, it goes like this: Jeff (24), Mason (16) and Troy (13).

The best moment in my life…was when I realized that Tim was “the one.” It wasn’t like I knew from the moment I met him. It came with time…with being friends first (as much as that sucked)…and with seeing something in him that I had never noticed in anyone else. His heart was pure and his love honest. When he said he’d do anything for me, he meant it. There were no games…no false pretenses. No “what’s in it for me.” What he gave me was him. Stripped down to the core. That one bit of knowledge gave me hope and has continued to give me strength. He showed me true love exists.

Describe the time in your life when you felt your best. This kind of goes along with the above question…but the time I FELT the best was our wedding night. After we got to our hotel and EVERYTHING WAS DONE and it was just us. The actual day was amazing but those first few minutes where we both could stop and take a breath and let it all sink in…that moment, with him sitting in the chair by the window and me standing between the bed and the TV…both of us still in our wedding attire…completely exhausted but grinning at each other like we were sharing THE BIGGEST, MOST AMAZING SECRET…that instant was pure, unadulterated, unconditional love. And I’ll carry that moment with me forever.

Then, we realized the reception site person forgot to put a slice of our cake in the little “to go” bag (HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT) and on top of that, we found that we left our entire toiletry bag in the backseat of my mom’s car and Tim had to call one of his groomsmen to drop it off for us or else we’d be off to Hawaii the next morning with no deodorant or shampoo or toothpaste.

Welcome to our life. Cause that’s exactly what happens.

We think we have everything all figured out.

Then the shit hits the fan.

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25 Responses to “the answers…don’t you want them?”


  1. 1 Breeza September 7, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    Awesome! I feel like I “know” you a bit better now πŸ™‚ As much as you can know someone through a blog that is!
    And sorry about your little brother…

    • 2 Jessica September 8, 2009 at 7:59 pm

      Breeza: Yea! Glad you’ve gotten a better grasp (is that the right word?) on virtual me… πŸ™‚

      I’m going to try and be a little better at giving a little more here and there…I mean, I like blog friends…and I like to share things with them.

  2. 3 Belle September 7, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    Gah, I’m sure glad you ended on a happy-ish note, because my eyes got a little too teary there over your brother. I’m so so sorry. Good to know you though! πŸ™‚

  3. 5 Lori September 7, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    How heartbreaking! I am so sorry about your little brother. But happy for you and Tim! It’s true what you say about life. No matter how hard we try, we will never figure it all out in the end. Sorry about your computer, I had my own scare just today that mine went kaput on me. Next time Mac for sure.

  4. 6 amnda September 7, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    From one Mac person to a future Mac person – trust me, you computer problems will stop here. My TWO YEAR OLD HP asploded twice. First with the blue screen of death, then the processor just wore out.

    Once you go Mac, you never go back.

    Oh, and the customer service people all speak English. πŸ˜€

    • 7 Jessica September 8, 2009 at 7:56 pm

      amnda: Oh, what I would give for English-speaking help…where they understand WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO EXPLAIN.

      We got the blue screen of death this afternoon. Yippee!

  5. 8 justrun September 7, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    I’m pretty new here, so what a picture that gave me. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for visiting my blog the other day. πŸ™‚

    Oh, and yes, GO MAC. It’s SO worth it.

  6. 10 starphoenix September 7, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Personally, I prefer MAC, too. But be aware of the difference before you get yourself into a totally different system. I understand your frustration, but even on MAC, you still need really good backup plan. The safe way to go is:
    1) Always have system back up, monthly and after you have made big change in your system. (MAC will handle your system backup automatically when you provide a external hard drive. But no one can prevent a hardware to die ….. no matter with PC or MAC, do not rely on a single hardware)
    2) Backup your daily updated data every one or two days.
    3) Except using your external hard drive, burn your most important data to DVD. It’s not PC’s fault when the external hard drive crash. So if you have enough money, try to get those external hard drive tower/bay and use its RAID option.
    BTW, thank you for your comment on my blog.

    • 11 Jessica September 8, 2009 at 7:52 pm

      starphoenix: Thanks for the tips! I told Tim about them and he was all, “REALLY? WHAT’D IT SAY?”

      We’re gonna have to copy and paste these into this brain, I think…

  7. 12 amandagibbs September 7, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    Cheers! I love the responses, I feel like I too got to know you better. On that note I am completely disappointed I missed out on submitting a question. I will catch it next time. Life story, I am always late and never on time.

    On that note, The puzzle piece comment about made me piss my pants. My husband is the exact same way, I swear there have been more marks in the walls and scratched up or broken items because he swore it would fit there or “I can get it through there”. I could be 2 miles away and tell you it wouldn’t work out that way. Who am I to suggest defeat for man against inanimate object. WTH was I thinking?

    Coach = Love. I get it, I act like that screaming whiny child throwing a tempter tantrum for a toy as well. It’s hard not too, shiny, pretty things get my attention.

    Fall Comfort Food Suggestion: Chili, you can’t go wrong, you can put whatever the hell you want in it and just a couple of the “chili ingredients” and call it chili. It warms the soul.

    • 13 Jessica September 8, 2009 at 7:54 pm

      amandagibbs: What is it with husbands and spatial abilities?….I’ll have to try and jump on the chili train…I’m not a huge beef fan – so I’ll have to try turkey or chicken…any suggestions?

  8. 14 Jac September 8, 2009 at 8:26 am

    I’ve always wanted a Mac. I’m on laptop #3 in as many years… next time, definitely a Mac!

    I love that your favorite item in your closet is your coach purses πŸ™‚ I am envious! I would KILL for a Coach bag! (Ok, maybe that’s extreme… but I’m addicted to handbags, and I’m broke… so I only have cheaper ones that I find on sale.)

    • 15 Jessica September 8, 2009 at 7:49 pm

      Jac: I’m such a purse whore…though I don’t get them very often…nothing stops me from staring at those bags in the store windows…begging Tim to go in JUST TO LOOK.

      I never even used to LIKE purses…Tim was the one who turned me onto them. So, if anything, it’s his fault. πŸ™‚

  9. 16 Ashley September 8, 2009 at 9:26 am

    Oh. Hi!
    You’re fun. I like you.

    Thanks for the comment. Let’s be friends.

  10. 17 Elaine September 8, 2009 at 9:41 am

    I knew I would like you.

  11. 18 Shannon September 8, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    Ok so I’m a little slow. My question (and maybe you did answer this and I missed it) What are you doing with your time now? Besides missing hot office gossip and raising 4 kids. Are you working on just your blog or writing a full book? Wanna be my ghostwriter?:) How are you doing filling your days is what I’m getting at:)

  12. 19 aweierich September 9, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Wow, am I the only one who has seen episodes of The Mighty Boosh? I wondered if that is where your name was from since it’s such an unusual word. Speaking of words, I have two more for you- Old Greg. You gotta check this show out. It is bizarre. Not just a little weird – downright bizarre. There are clips on youtube – I warn you though, don’t just watch it once, it takes at least 3 viewings for your brain to penetrate the impenetrable weirdness and for you to burst out laughing. And when you finally do laugh, it will be for no reason that you consciously understand.

    • 20 Jessica September 9, 2009 at 6:58 pm

      aweierich: umm…maybe? I certainly have NO IDEA what The Mighty Boosh is…my blog name certainly didn’t come from it πŸ™‚

      Old Greg, huh? I’ll have to check it out.

  13. 21 lifestartsnow September 9, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    i’m sorry to hear about your brother! but, you know, it’s part of how you became who you are now. challenges you grow from.

    i switched to apple 1.5 years ago and i do not regret it at all! my old laptop lasted for 6 years (unbelievable!) but i was fed up with windows and all that comes along with it.

    franzi

  14. 23 aweierich September 10, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Because I am such a good little blog-reader (and not at all because I am bored at work), here you go. I politely insist you view this clip:

    • 24 Jessica September 10, 2009 at 7:05 pm

      aweierich: Thanks to you (dammit) – I can no longer claim ignorance in regards to “The Mighty Boosh.”

      You ARE a good little blog reader…and bored at work…but that’s what makes the reading so good. πŸ˜‰

  15. 25 fattiefatterton November 15, 2009 at 1:44 am

    Awww, I’m so sorry about your brother. That must have been so hard on all of you at the time (and of course, that is a wound that never heals completely).

    Thank you so much for writing such an awesome post and sharing with us!


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