mommy radar

I think I’m getting a TINY GLIMPSE of what it will feel like to be a parent. 

The lack of sleep.  The little knowledge devil tapping on the side of your head all, “Did you take care of this? Have you cleaned that? Has she been fed? What about a nap? And how about some mental enrichment? You missed their snack time and I think you also forgot to change your clothes. The laundry, remember? Do it. You’re tired? Well, that’s just a damn shame. Now, what about dinner? Aren’t you supposed to be making that right about now?”

HOLY HELL.

Last night, I fell asleep on the couch in a less-than-comfortable position, TV blaring and the dogs romping around like their asses were on fire.  At some point, Tim got up to take Lexi and her tiny bladder outside.

When he came back in, he asked me something.  I have no idea what he asked.  I just remember my brain going, “I WAS ASLEEP! I WAS FINALLY ASLEEP! WHY IS HE TALKING?!”

And that’s what came out when I answered him. 

I rolled over, looked at him standing in the kitchen and was all, “You know, I WAS on my own little field trip away from reality….blissfully unaware of any of the goings-on HERE. But I’m back now. Thanks.”

Tim just stared at me.

“Do I need to spell it out?  I. WAS. ASLEEP.

After that snippy little comment, Tim recovered from his shock and confusion and says: “You answered me when I took Lexi out. SO SORRY.”

You know what? I probably did.  I probably did mumble something unintelligible that resembled an answer to a question I don’t even remember hearing.

Because that’s what happens when the mommy-radar gets turned on.

IT NEVER LETS YOU REST.

No wonder the husbands offer to do the chores that require their absence.

They’re escaping the wrath.

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10 Responses to “mommy radar”


  1. 1 candidlymommy September 6, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    i think you’re on to something. the lack of sleep, the silliness that comes from lack of sleep… ah, it’s funny because it’s true.

  2. 3 lifestartsnow September 6, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    you know, my friend talks in her sleep. and she never remembers a thing though she can have a “real” conversation. ok, but that’s real sleep and not the drop dead on the couch because of exhaustion kind.

    franzi

    • 4 Jessica September 7, 2009 at 2:34 pm

      franzi: Tim’s college roomies used to call him “switch” because he’d be knocked out asleep and then, out of nowhere, join into their conversation without missing a beat.

      Weird…

  3. 5 Angelia Sims September 6, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    Life was perfect with Salem and I, then my mom rescued a puppy that I took in. Holy Moly! So HARD, my puppy was HARDER than my daughter, seriously!! A baby is easier, don’t worry haha.

  4. 7 DebbieQ September 7, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Oh and that “mommy radar” never turns off I can tell you! Even when they are grown. Rats!

  5. 9 lily September 8, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Yep! I agree… that mommy radar never gets turned off. I can’t remember how many nights I woke up suddenly, thinking that I heard my kids calling me. That radar got me up and running to their room for no good reason because most of the time, they were sound asleep.
    But don’t worry, it’s all worth it in the end.


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