do i even know you?

I’m not even sure I really even KNOW one half of my DNA.

That’s really sad.

How does that happen?  How do I know more about former co-workers than I do my own dad?

Does it bother me?  A little.

Am I doing anything about it?

No.

I got tired of trying…of inviting him over…of doing nice things like taking him out for a $200 dinner for Father’s Day…when Tim and I have NEVER ONCE been invited over to his house for dinner. NOT. ONE. SINGLE. TIME.

I finally accepted him as a “friend” on Facebook after a few months of getting progressively more urgent emails, reminding me I had a “Facebook friend request pending!”  I found out that he had complained to my mom that I had accepted someone else but not him (how did he even know that?).  Mason, one of my younger brothers, came to my defense, saying I wasn’t on there much. 

He’s right.  I’m not.  I’m not entirely sure I even understand Facebook. 

I just learned yesterday that Facebook has games.  

Apparently, my mom’s internet was down, so within an email about coming over this weekend, she was all, “YOU HAVE TO HARVEST MY WHEAT!  IT’S READY AND IT’LL GO TO  WASTE AND I CAN’T DO IT!”

Huh?

Since when did we live on a farm?  And where are you hiding all this wheat? And how did you send that email if the internet is broken?

Farmtown.  On Facebook. That’s where the wheat was.

After logging into her account and searching for ten minutes for what would get me into Farmtown – a big “F” (yes, a big F. My brain went there, too),  it took me another fifteen damn minutes just to figure out how to FIND THE WHEAT on her little farm.  Harvest it?   I would’ve sat there all morning had Tim not shown me the sickle button.  Locust and bow weavel invasion averted. Wheat harvested.

So, where was I?  Oh, yes.  Angry father and Facebook.  Seriously?  REALLY?  You’re bent…because of FACEBOOK?

Should I be mad, then, that you decided NOT to set aside time to celebrate Christmas with us, much less buy us a present?  Or how you forgot Tim’s birthday? Or how you continue to choose other women over us…even when they tell you I’M A BITCH because I told you that bringing her over to OUR HOUSE and then proceeding to LAY ALL OVER EACH OTHER was inappropriate….and disgusting.

Personally, I’m thinking my aversion to your Facebook  invitation doesn’t even hold up compared to your past offenses.

Not like you were really missing anything.  I don’t even write on my Wall.

But, now…now you have the key to my life. 

My blog.

So – just remember – after you read this and you’re all upset and complaining to whichever girlfriend you’ve got now…

YOU ASKED.

And so shall you receive.

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21 Responses to “do i even know you?”


  1. 1 Beyond Alice September 4, 2009 at 10:53 am

    This is kind of unrelated, but, the only way I knew that my sister had given birth to my third nephew was by reading about it on Facebook. Gee thanks, FAMILY.

    • 2 Jessica September 4, 2009 at 11:08 am

      Beyond Alice: No, I think that’s pretty much on par. It’s the lack of consideration… 🙂 Did you send your congrats via email? I would have. Virtual knowledge = virtual gift.

  2. 3 Beyond Alice September 4, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Yup….just a Facebook “congrats!” I didn’t even send him a card or gift until Christmas. 😛 And just out of spite, when I have a baby, I think I’ll let her find out about it on Facebook too. Is that too mean?

  3. 5 Jenera September 4, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    I live in fear of seeing a friend request from my father or his stupid wife. Though I have said repeatedly I want nothing to do with them, they still stalk my blog and keep tabs on me through other people I know.

  4. 7 Breeza September 4, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    That is really sad. Some people should not have been parents, probably including your dad. But he is and needs to step up and act like it. I’m sure you and Tim will be GREAT parents…someday 🙂

  5. 9 wellaflores September 4, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Hi. Thanks for the comment. And about your dad, I kinda can relate to that. But not really totally. And yes. I often think why I know other people more than my folks…tsk…weird..

  6. 11 thebakerbee September 4, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    I commend you for being so up front and honest. Hopefully he sees this and gets the message!

  7. 13 Angelia Sims September 4, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    I think honesty is a wonderful quality! Good for you! I’m a Facebook junkie, even friends with my 1st husbands wife and all the ex-in-laws waaay fun! Lol. Also, did you know there is a Farmville AND a Farmtown. Ha!

  8. 15 maureenlynn September 5, 2009 at 8:39 am

    That’s a bummer about your dad, but the farm games are fun. Personally, I prefer Farmville. It’s a little less complicated. 🙂

    • 16 Jessica September 5, 2009 at 8:53 am

      maureenlynn: I’ve lived with it for a long time…and every now and then I just needed to get some of it OUT…

      My mom sent me a Farmtown invitation…that’s the complicated one?…what happens if you neglect your crops?…I cannot keep anything “green” alive in this household and I fear for the corn and wheat and whatever else you can grow…

  9. 17 Elaine September 6, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Okay, confession time. Well, technically I think it was confession Friday….but I’m a little behind the curve since last night at the wine garden…but even that was Saturday.

    Anyway…

    I have a farm. A big one. The biggest one you can have. With the houses and barns and horses. I have a picnic table by the pond. And crops. Lots of crops.

    It’s a sickness really. Friggin’ virtual insanity. And I love it. I gave myself a repetative stress injury on my elbow. The Dr. called it tennis elbow. I call it Farmtown Elbow.

    Thank you. I feel refreshed having purged that secret here on your site.

    Sorry about the Dad crap. My dad’s crap spills out on others, too. I’m glad he hasn’t tried to add me on Facebook. I might change my name. It would suck to loose the farm.

    Ciao!

    • 18 Jessica September 6, 2009 at 6:31 pm

      Elaine: My mom showed me someone with a farm like that. I was all, THEY HAVE PONDS? LOOK AT THAT HOUSE! (It was huge and red and had a Mercedes parked in front…ok, so maybe not the Mercedes…but you get my point). I haven’t accepted the invitation yet. I’m afraid I’ll get hooked…and end up yelling at Tim in my sleep, “GRAPES ONLY TAKE FOUR HOURS! THEY’RE READY! GO HARVEST HONEY, GO HARVEST!”

      I’m glad you confessed. Don’t you feel so much better?…

      The dad crap…will always be there. Just had to get it off my chest, know what I mean?

  10. 19 Elaine September 6, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    I do feel so much better, thanks.

    Now I have to do the right thing and encourage you to go toward the light! Jess, sweet sister, go toward the light. You seem young and full of life. You need a virtual farm like someone needs to have 12 kids in a trailer park.

    It’s a sickness. I have to avoid the grapes. Ripen in 4 hours? It’s too much stress. Repetitive stress. On the elbow.

    There’s so much more to life. You don’t need this monkey on your back. Next thing you know, you’d be making confessions on a strangers website.

    Signed,
    Farmtown Junkie

  11. 20 mrssoup September 8, 2009 at 11:44 am

    I understand the dad crap. Well, through my husband. My father-in-law still does not know he’s a grandpa. My daughter is almost 8 months old. Last we heard, he was dating his brother’s girlfriend’s daughter, smoking pot and other stuff and possibly still working.

    That was 2 years ago.

    He also doesn’t know his daughter is married and pregnant as well.

    It’s sad. Very sad.

    And, I’m a Farming Addict too. I have huge farms with Farmtown AND Farmville as well as about 3 other farming/gardening games.

    • 21 Jessica September 8, 2009 at 7:43 pm

      mrssoup: I had no idea the Farmtown/ville/etc were so popular. I’ve yet to make a farm…but the pressue to start growing crops is immense!

      My heart goes out to any family that has to deal with a rouge member who seems like they are too wrapped up in their own world to care…


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