i think this might be why we aren’t invited to dinner parties

Tim and I were having a conversation the other night…about crowds and being around lots of people…

We both get people-overload-claustrophobia if we’re stuck wedged between sweaty armpits and those who don’t adhere to personal space laws and use your ass as a backstop. 

We’ve learned to how to spot the look that says: “GET ME THE HELL OUT. NOW.  I DON’T CARE IF IT REQUIRES MY JUMPING DOWN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT.  I WANT OUT. NOW”

We like our OWN SPACE…and we like to do things in our OWN TIME. 

And we both have this slight little issue with being IN CONTROL…

So when we can’t leave or do something when WE want to…it creates this internal frustration that screams at you and beats on your chest cavity.

It’s part of why we want to move where they measure population in elk.

Don’t get me wrong.  We do like people.  REALLY.

We love going out and doing things and spending time with other people…laughing and wiling away the hours…

We just don’t like playing by your rules, that’s all.

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21 Responses to “i think this might be why we aren’t invited to dinner parties”


  1. 1 Shannon September 3, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    oh my…that is so me…sooooo me. I asked a teacher the other day to get out of my personal space and he looked at me like I was nuts. I had to repeat myself.

    • 2 Jessica September 3, 2009 at 4:01 pm

      Shannon: I know what you mean with “the look.” People sometimes think I’m mad at them…when I’m not – I just need you to get out of MY AREA. Now.

      And when are you headed off to Wyoming?? I’m so jealous! Take a birch tree picture for me!!

  2. 3 helgahi September 3, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    Oh, I understand you perfectly. I HATE crowds, and I hate not being able to leave a place when I want to. I get claustrophobic.

  3. 5 Lindsay September 3, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    Thanks for the comment on the planes. I also really like those big purple flowers. They remind me of Dr. Suess! I posted a picture of one last year: http://butashadow.blogspot.com/2008/06/buzz-buzz.html

  4. 6 Kid Icarus September 3, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    Hmmmm, yes. I would have to agree with you. My husband and I are now wondering if we should bring our tickets to the circus every time we go out….because that’s how it feels when we go in public, like we’re watching a damn circus around us.

  5. 8 Shannon September 3, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    I’m taking off on the 17th which is sooo not soon enough! I will get you a birch tree picture!

  6. 9 Wez September 3, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Oh even I get frustrated when I can’t leave when I want to. That’s why I don’t go out with some ‘friends’. Whereas if I’m with hubby I’d tell him that I wanna go home. NOW. And he has to oblige. It goes both ways.

  7. 11 beyondalice September 3, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    I’m SO glad I’m not the only one! My hubs isn’t so people-paranoid, but I just cannot deal with crowds! People in too large of a quantity start to gross me out. But I love them in small circles. 🙂

    • 12 Jessica September 3, 2009 at 6:56 pm

      beyondalice: yes, lots of people all smushed together are gross. The worst is after the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta (worlds largest 10k). Everyone hops on MARTA after the race to get back home.

      Talk about one of the most crowded, unsanitary experiences….

  8. 13 Buckeroomama September 3, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    That’s why we don’t like cruises much. I don’t like the idea of being “stuck” and swimming to shore being the only way out…

    • 14 Jessica September 4, 2009 at 5:30 am

      Buckeroomama: ohhh…so definitely NOT an activity Tim and I would do. I’m not too keen on having to swim with the “fishes” – the one’s with the sharp teeth – if you know what I mean.

  9. 15 Daphne September 4, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Donald and I are the same way about social situations. We have signals for each other when it’s time to leave. We plan our exit strategy ahead of time. We love our just-to-ourselves home time because we can be genuine. Somehow those social situations make us feel fake, or everyone else feel fake. It can be stifling. Hopefully we’ll find a happy balance, since I’d like to have friends our age sometime. Maybe we have to wait until we have kids, or a dog. They’ll make us go outside.

    • 16 Jessica September 4, 2009 at 10:35 am

      Daphne: I don’t know…even OUR DOGS like being “home” …….do you have a go-to exit strategy or does it change on the situation? That’s too funny.

      I do think that people put on a “front” at parties…trying to impress everyone…I’m even guilty of that

  10. 17 ToolBoxGirl September 4, 2009 at 10:45 am

    I have personal space issues as well, so I completely understand. I decline all invitations to submarines, small bars, and crowded dance floors.

    (And as much as I love going to Gillette Stadium to see the Patriots play football, getting stuck in the stairwell when the game is over is one of my worst fears…)

    • 18 Jessica September 4, 2009 at 11:11 am

      Peggy: OHHH….yes….trapped in a small space. BAD MOJO. We leave events like that EARLY to avoid such a catastrophe. Game’s tied? TOO BAD. Get your ass in the car before we get trampled.

  11. 19 amiebrooksphoto September 4, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Movies…never sit within three seats of my husband and me at the movies or you will pay! To close for comfort baby!!

  12. 20 Ashley September 8, 2009 at 9:32 am

    Oh heavens do I feel you on this issue.

    Mike and I, once in our little space, will not leave it. And our friends get very angry.

    It’s amazing that after 6 years they still don’t get it.


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