we must have validation…lots of validation…

Let’s just put it right out there: I married an Engineer.

One that must verify data and be absolutely certain that the answer he’s given or the choice he’s about to make is THE RIGHT ONE.

Blame it on his job…or his education…or his confidence that he’s right and you must prove otherwise with a thousand pages of research and actual, real world experiments in perfect conditions that show he’s wrong.

You cannot get away with, “BUT THEY SAY…”

The first thing he’ll ask is, “And who are THEY?…”

Yeah…I don’t know either.

But the validation…the, “are you SURE this is this right?”…it bleeds over to everything.


And he relies on my judgement to help him make that choice…the artsy, Psych major…whose mind works on a totally different reasoning platform.

Tim: “What do you think?  Blue or green shirt with khaki pants?”

And then he starts doing the hold-up-one-shirt-just-below-the-chin-then-hide-it-behind-his-back-and-hold-up-the-other.

Me: “I think either one is fine.”

Tim: “No, which one looks BETTER?”

Me: “Blue.”

Tim: “Are you sure?  Blue is definitely better?”

Me: “Yes. Blue.”

And Tim will put on the blue shirt…then come back to me for another opinion.  I guess in his brain, things could change from imagining what it will look like to ACTUALLY WEARING IT.  Because those are TWO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS.

Tim: “You’re sure?  Blue?”

Me: “YES.”

Tim: “Positive?”

Me: “Yes.  But, you know… green looks nice too.”

Tim: “$??!!?!!”

(that’s Tim’s brain exploding).

21 Responses to “we must have validation…lots of validation…”

  1. 1 Casey August 16, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    I love this post! I, too, married an engineer. He is very un-engineer-like with the exception of his decision making process. Sometimes it can take weeks to make a simple decision. And, if I want to buy any high-priced item, I better have the research to back it up!

    • 2 Jessica August 16, 2009 at 5:52 pm

      Casey: OH! The high-priced items! Almost forgot about THAT process…MONTHS of research…graphs and charts and comparison tables…all for a TV…

      and so funny with the backup research… I completely empathize with you…

  2. 3 joz1234 August 16, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    In our relationship, I am the one who needs order, and steps, and validation. I’m so lucky my husband is so easy going. I’d go crazy if he was the one needing the reassurance all the time.

    • 4 Jessica August 16, 2009 at 5:54 pm

      joz1234: Funny how it works out that way…one or the other must have the order while the other just…goes with it. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by – hope to see you around now and then.

  3. 5 everydaycreate August 16, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    Oh, how I love engineers.

    (despite what the tag says, I’m actually Bri from http://thecraftbegins.com)

  4. 7 Hillary August 16, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    YESSSSS!!! I married a Chemist – it is impossible to argue with him! When will he realize that I am always right?

  5. 9 Hannah August 16, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    I’m an engineer married to a physicist. You can imagine the wild parties we have at our house. You know it’s bad when the physicist has to defer to the engineer for fashion advice. My husband spent three months trying to find the right humidifier for our children… our poor children, who will never be prom king or queen.

  6. 11 maureenlynn August 16, 2009 at 9:00 pm


  7. 12 kimberly August 16, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    that is just too funny!

  8. 13 justagirlinvegas August 17, 2009 at 1:32 am

    Not sure if thats your husband or just men in general lol and as for the blue and green thing, I do it all the time and after putting up with most men in general we have earned that right ; )

  9. 14 drifaulfars August 17, 2009 at 8:56 am

    Isn’t it wonderful how one little decision can spice up our lives for a long time. I think the key is to enjoy the prossess or else what is the point.

    Drifa Ulfarsdottir

  10. 16 Kara August 17, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Ha! My husband does the same thing but it’s because he’s WAY color blind. He’ll say, “Does this green shirt match? and I’ll say, “That’s not a green shirt, it’s gray.” After several times of me saying, “Or is it?” with a sly look he no longer believes me when I tell him what color things are. What’s his problem???

    • 17 Jessica August 17, 2009 at 6:16 pm

      Kara: That is hysterical. I can just see him…completely confused…all, “really? This is…green? Or is it really gray?…WHY DOES SHE DO THIS?!?” 🙂

  11. 18 mrssoup August 17, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Ahahaha, my husband isn’t an engineer but is the exact same way. Validation is necessary. I think it’s the science geek in him…

  1. 1 an email i must share « booshy Trackback on September 9, 2009 at 10:50 am
  2. 2 tim got his 2 weeks « booshy Trackback on October 4, 2009 at 10:05 am

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