the chairman

Remember all my AT&T fun (this, this and this) ?  The letters…the “we know we messed up, but it’s still your fault” …the hours on the phone….the customer we-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about-service…

Well, to top it all off, I had to go through the process of SHIPPING BACK THE LOANER PHONE that was anything but functional.  It kept getting emails for someone named “dhill”…that dropped calls…that didn’t connect to the internet….

When I received this wonderfully crafted piece of shit, I was also given an address and a name to whom I was supposed to send the phone BACK to after we received our iPhones.  Just more time out of ANOTHER DAY to relinquish to AT&T.

Tim was all, “WE ARE NOT PAYING TO SHIP THAT DAMN PHONE BACK.  YOU TELL THEM.  WE AREN’T PAYING ONE CENT TOWARDS THAT SHIPMENT!”

Sure, honey.  I’ve already ripped AT&T a new one…twice over and through ten different departments…but I’ll throw that in for good measure.  JUST so they know we’re serious.

I was supposed to ship said shit-phone back the SAME DAY we received our iPhones.

Yeah…didn’t happen.  I got around to the dreadful chore about a week later.

They were in no rush to get us our phones.

And I’m an eye-for-an-eye kind of girl.

And so the day comes where I finally have enough I’m-not-that-kind-of-person guilt hanging over me that I pack it all up for shipping.

But, of course, the shipping cannot be a simple, no brainer.

Blame it on my lack of attention to detail or thinking and processing information before speaking or learning a lesson from a previous conversational disaster.

I had the package all ready to go and wrote the return address is HUGE BLACK LETTERS on the side of the box:

Me: “Honey! My phones getting sent to the chairman!  Chairman Ansley!  Wow!  I wonder if I TOOK THE CHAIRMAN’S PHONE?!?

Tim: “What?  What are you talking about?  Why did you write the address on like that?  They don’t need that.”

Me: “Just in case they don’t SEE the packing slip.”

Tim: But, they’re trained to LOOK AT THE PACKING SLIP.  THEY’LL SEE IT.”

Me: “Well….I did it anyway….HEY!  GUESS WHAT?!”

Tim: “….?”

Me: “This is getting mailed to the CHAIRMAN!  I think I got the CHAIRMAN’S PHONE!”

Tim looks over at me, then at the address on the box, as if to verify my wild claim.  Because first of all…what chairman has a girly, red phone that looks like its been run through a garbage disposal and then slammed against a hard surface on multiple occasions?

Tim: “Um…Sweetheart…that says CharMAINE…”

Me:” What?!  Noooo!  That’s Chairman.  Chairman Ansley!”

Tim: “No…try again.”

Tim learned early…it takes my brain a minute to connect…so he waits for my little light bulb to flicker on.

Me: “Ohhhhh…..oops…. really?  It’s spelled like that?”

Tim just shook his head, started laughing, then walked over and enveloped me in a “its ok, I know you’re a little slow, but I still love you” hug.

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8 Responses to “the chairman”


  1. 1 Laura August 14, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    LOL! I would have been thinking the same thing! BTW- I had ATT for so long and seriously, they suck. I just didn’t want to change my number so I kept them. Why did Apple choose them for the iphone?

    • 2 Jessica August 14, 2009 at 3:35 pm

      Laura: Ummm…. I have no idea….I hear that the iPhones are going global soon…as in – no more exclusive deal with AT&T. And on that date, I will run through the street screaming, “I’M FREEEE!!!!!”

  2. 3 mrssoup August 14, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    OH dear….that’s horrible!

    We just got iPhones on Monday of this week and haven’t had any troubles…but we went in store to get them.

    I hope everything gets fixed soon!!

  3. 5 qoreena August 14, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Wow !

    Iphones sure makes people got pretty excited!

    I could only afford a classic Nokia… 😦

    • 6 Jessica August 15, 2009 at 8:54 am

      qoreena: As much as I LOVE the iPhone…it’s a seriously awful addiction. I’m having to FORCE MYSELF NOT TO USE IT…it’s worse than the blackberry (aka crackberry). So, I may have been better off with the Nokia…

  4. 7 lifestartsnow August 16, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    oh that’s great! who names their child charmain(e) anyways?! my guess is you guys won’t 😉

    franzi


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