life’s direction

I came across old test scores from my grade school days from a box my mom gave me on my birthday this past year.  Scores from those tests that lasted all week and then, at the end of racking your brain with equations and reading essays and bubbling tiny circles, asked what kind of career you plan on going into when you get out in the great, big world.

Because we’re all thinking clearly after doing a brain dump on our desks for days on end.

Why do they do that?  Maybe the test makers stopped…I’m not sure…but my mind changed every year.

I mean, how am I supposed to accurately know what I *really* wanted to do?  Good thing I wasn’t overly anal about it or else that one question alone would have sent me over the edge.  I would have lost all composure and had a full-on mental breakdown, babbling nonsense while trying to decide between bubbling “President of the United States” or “Neurosurgeon.”

Currently, I am not an actor, a marine biologist or a lawyer.  But I had plans of being each for at least one year of my life.  I mean, I’d like to think I could fit into that acting category…

I digress.

Asking a question about your career seems like an activity created to disappoint.  Because, as badly as we want it, we’re not always cut out to be EXACTLY what we dream. And when that realization becomes painfully obvious…sometimes it’s hard to find – or admit to – something else we’re actually really good at.

No one wants to admit that they excel in the mediocre or in careers that do not promise fame or money or respect.

Maybe some people like blending in with the crowd.  I would guess that is just fine – for them.

I either have a REALLY wild imagination or REALLY high expectations.

But I don’t want to blend.

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