post-secret…but i’m not anonymous

I’ve avoided talking in depth about my family. I try to keep them out of my blogs. Everyone has dirt and no one really wants to air it out for the world to see (though the world likes to sneak around the corner and catch a glimpse, anyway).

But writing is my escape. It is my way to deal with things and somehow it makes me feel better if I not only write it but someone else reads it. Without the reading…all my ranting falls on deaf ears…and that never really solves anything, does it?

So today, you get to hear some dirt. And since I have yet to gain a massive following…I don’t foresee this making national headlines.  And I’m ok with that.

The dirt?  My own father never celebrated Christmas with us or bought Tim or I a Christmas present.

Wait. It gets better.

The one we purchased for him is still sitting…wrapped with a nice little bow, on a shelf in the computer room.

And it is JUNE.

A little background: my parents are divorced, so holiday celebrations are now split three ways being married. One with Tim’s nuclear family, one with my mom and one with my dad.  My brothers are at whichever house has the “turn” for the holiday.

Christmas never really *happened* with my dad.  My mom planned an early celebration and we were in New York with Tim’s family for the actual holiday.

Tim and I are still waiting.  We’ve offered up time to do get together more than once…whenever he’s available just let us know.

When Tim offered, it was in March, I think, and my dads response was, “I need to know what you guys want.”

And that was MARCH.

So…I guess we were never really on the “gift list” in the first place.

I told him again the first week in May that he could invite us over to his house, too (in reference to us going over to my mom’s all the time for one thing or another).

He just said he knows.  And he would.

And I haven’t heard from him since.

It’s not so much the actual gift that bothers me.  It’s the thought. 

There was never a thought.

My birthday was in February.

No gift there, either.

Tim’s birthday was in April.

Tim didn’t even get a mention from my dad regarding the date he graced the presence of the world.

Not even a belated one when I reminded him – in May – that Tim’s birthday was in April.

Again. It is JUNE.

3 Responses to “post-secret…but i’m not anonymous”

  1. 1 sendtoharvey June 5, 2009 at 4:26 am

    understand a little bit…i got my dad a bday gift and card, and he told me just to keep it and save it until next year…sad..

    • 2 Jessica June 5, 2009 at 8:09 pm

      Wow…that kinda just sucks the wind right out of you…hopefully it isn’t a “dated” type gift…I think the one we bought is past the return point….so we’re stuck with it.

  2. 3 Lady Temptress June 10, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    We all have some kind of emotional baggage in our life, so don’t feel bad about venting. It’s always comforting to be heard, no matter if it’s positive or negative. Only we can judge the impact of disappointment and painful emotions ourselves, in hopes that someone could understand a fraction of it.

    ~Never play down someone else’s suffering. Experiences are a relative, and there is no ranking on people’s perception of their own suffering.

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