I loved my our wedding. It was perfect. It was lovely. No rain. No falling. No being left at the altar. No really embarrassing moments that you see on TV and think, “that’ll never happen to me.” Everyone forever held their peace.
With all that said, I will NEVER do it again. The advice my yet-to-populate-the-womb daughter will be told by both of her parents will be: Elope. TRUST US.
We started planning our wedding and booking vendors a year in advance. Every week night and every minute of every weekend was full of cutty-pastey activities or phone calls or lists or logistics or trips to Michael’s Craft Store, who I believe we kept in business that year….it was always SOMETHING. It was nonstop wedding and you would think with a whole year…what could go wrong? Welllll… where do we begin?
There were so many pre-wedding fiasco’s…it’s probably why the actual day went off without a hitch. The wedding gods must have tired of throwing lightening bolts into our plans and figured we had suffered enough. We can start with the invitation fiasco where I had ALL of my invitations returned to my front door because the postage was incorrect.
Didn’t I take a completed sample invitation up to the Post Office to verify postage cost, you ask? Why, yes, I did. However, they didn’t actually run my invitation through their little machine so they didn’t realize it wouldn’t fit and therefore had to be hand stamped with that red ink thing that tells everyone “yes, that letter HAS been through the Post Office check point. Whew. All clear. Because what would one do if a letter shows up in a mailbox…with a stamp but NO RED INK over the top?!” Long story short: My beautiful invitations had THREE different stamps of varying sizes on them.
Fiasco #2: It took…almost a month of saying the SAME THING to the hotel we were attempting to book for the wedding party to understand “We want to reserve two suites. We want to reserve one suite for 3 nights and the other suite for 2 nights.” We went through about a million variations…and none of them the right. We had 2 suites for 3 nights, 1 suite for 2 nights…2 suites for 1 night…3 suites for 2 nights…
Fiasco #3: Make sure you do all of the “little things” as soon as you a) know what they are and b) have the materials. The week before the wedding I did not sleep – I was tying bows on small planter pots, putting stickers on candy, fixing “welcome” bags for the wedding party….until the wee hours of the morning until I was putting stickers on my arms and tying bows to my ankles. Just a teensy bit of advice: All those little things you put off until the end because you don’t think they’ll take very long? They DO.
Fiasco #4: The night before the rehearsal dinner, Tim and I FINALLY left the house at 10pm to pick up the Groom’s cake and check into the hotel….and we get about 10 minutes down the road and….we have to turn right back around because Tim forgot his socks. Not just ANY socks. The socks that went with the rented tux. There was no getting married without those socks. Which meant there was no leaving without those socks.
Fiasco #5: The next morning…the day before the wedding, Tim and I are on our way to the airport to pick up his family, trying to convince each other that everything is really, finally done and our conversation went something like this:
Tim: Well, at least we’ve got everything. We’re done! YEA!!!!!!
Me: That’s right! Anyway, all we really need is someone to marry us and the rings!”
As I say “the rings” I pull open the glove compartment where we had stashed the ring boxes, because we didn’t want them out of reach, and opened them up to help emphasize my point.
The boxes were empty.
We left the rings at home.
They weren’t in the boxes because we hadn’t taken them out of the special cloth bags the engravers gave us. Oops. I frantically called my mom and had to send her on a wild goose chase to bring them to the hotel so we wouldn’t be playing charades during the ceremony and sliding air onto each others fingers. Thankfully, she came through with flying colors.
Fiasco #6: Once we brought Tim’s family back to the hotel we had planned on going out to breakfast. However, my mom was late (because she had to go get the rings), my brother was lost and LOTS of people were hungry. We didn’t have enough seats in cars to get everyone to the restaurant (of course! Why would we? What else has gone as planned?). I start calling my mom and my brother, trying to figure out where they are, all the while being asked a million questions – the main one was “where’s breakfast?” After about 30 minutes of tempers and blood pressure rising, Tim found the manager at the hotel and convinced them to re-open the breakfast buffet that had already closed. Crisis averted – but just barely. The bride, however, did not eat. She was still on the phone giving directions.
We somehow managed to get through the remainder of the day. We were late to our own rehearsal dinner, the necklaces we bought our mom’s didn’t fit and I think everyone went to bed that night more than a little frazzled.
The day of the wedding was a completely different world and I thought we were past all of the “oh no’s and we forgot’s and what are we going to dos?” But no, I got a little too cocky a little too soon. The lightening bolts started hitting us. Again.
After the ceremony and reception and send off and all the fun things…we make it to the hotel and breathe a sigh of relief. It’s done! We’re married! Yea! Then we check our honeymoon luggage and…the toiletry bag is missing. What the hotel has in the bathroom will not get us through 10 days in Hawaii. Tim had to call one of his groomsmen for an SOS around 11:00pm. Said groomsman had to gather the missing items, call the airline to change his flight to the next morning so he could get to us before our flight left and drove down to meet us at the hotel to give us our forgotten bag of necessities around 6:00am. Sorry Jeff.
So if I am to give any advice regarding wedding “planning,” it is this: Don’t.
(here are a few pictures of the finished product: http://www.flickr.com/photos/14029813@N08/sets/72157615981110566/ )