shoe shopping

Shopping for any kind of shoe – except running shoes and maybe flip flops – is a laborious and depressing task.  I always come home frustrated and disappointed.  Though I was graced with height… and I do love my height…that height must be balanced somehow.  That somehow is big feet.  VERY big feet.  Size 11 big feet.  The size that only ugly, plain shoes are made for.  I don’t even bother GLANCING at the pretty shoes anymore.  If there is more than one color or strap on a shoe, it’s not in my size.  I’ve been let down one too many times by a salesperson saying “Sorry, we don’t have that in YOUR size” or “They don’t make them THAT big.”  I used to try and squeeze my foot into a smaller shoe, just to be able to wear what was hip and in style.  Eventually, I gave into my biology and just bought the plain shoes.  I don’t even call it shoe shopping.  I call it shoe looking.  Actually, more like a crazed manhunt to find a store that has more than one pair of shoes that will fit my gargantuan feet so I can at least COMPARE two styles. Doesn’t seem like too much to ask for…

One particular Saturday while I was out looking for shoes, for I had worn a hole in my current pair, a department store employee told me that they have a “special” section for people with my problem rare size.  When she told me that I got all excited.  Maybe it’s like the place they let celebrities go.  I’ll drink a little bubbly while I leisurely try on pair after pair of beautiful shoes and admire my abnormally large foot in full length, three-way mirrors…just like the foursome does on Sex and the City.  I’ll walk out, swinging my bag in one hand, looking fabulous, turning heads with every step. 

Turns out that “special” place is a cramped, dusty corner in the storeroom.  They don’t even bother with carpet or a chair to actually sit and try on the shoes.  Each time I put on a shoe I had to preform a balancing act, grasping for the wall so I didn’t put my foot on the dirty concrete floor.  So much for that little fantasy.

Tim and I were on our way back from dinner tonight and a contest comes on the radio.  A store is giving away at an amazing opportunity!  I’m not really listening until I hear, “Thirty seconds to grab as many pairs of shoes as you can!”  I just looked at Tim and said “That would be one of the worst things for me to win.  Ever.  I wouldn’t even need the 30 seconds.”

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