Before I begin the chaos that is 6 people vying for the same tiny soap box, here are a few pictures from the weekend…Thanksgiving #1
What's important here? The turkey. It's the only thing *kind of* in focus. Ummm thanks, mom.
Troy's drink. Troy who is 13. It's tea. Swear. I wouldn't lie in front of the Pilgrim.
Now…the conversations…they’re always disjointed and very confusing. You’re welcome.
(cue me almost dropping a massive, opened can of yams all over the floor)
Mom: You are such a klutz, Jessica. Things never change…
Me: What?! I’m not clumsy.
Tim: You mean, she’s always been this uncoordinated?
Mom: Everywhere except the basketball court…
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(for some reason, my 3 brothers think that “mom” is theirs…and apparently I no longer count in the sibling category, so they’ll be all, “MY MOM said…”)
Troy: My mom keeps having to have Come and Find Jesus meetings with me.
(he meant to say “come to Jesus” meetings)
Tim: Well, I mean, wow. Have you found him yet? Cause it seems like you’ve been having a lot of those meetings lately…
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Me: So, do you guys still play the trivia?
Jeff, Mom, Mason and Troy: THE what?!
Me, perplexed: The trivia?…Do you still go and play?
Tim, laughing hysterically: THE trivia? Who are you? Yoda?
(what the hell is wrong with saying THE trivia?)
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(cue heated basketball competition on the Wii. I was totally winning.)
Me: I am AWESOME. And I’ve never even played this before.
Mom: You aren’t awesome. You’re yelling “MISS IT!” every time someone tries to shoot the basketball. It’s no wonder you’re winning…
Me: That’s not allowed?
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(I’ve been trying to explain to Tim that it’s not that I’m pissy in the morning…I don’t talk to him because I’m trying to avoid a stupid fight over who forgot to pull out my favorite warm, fuzzy socks or who looked at me funny for 2.3 seconds longer than they should have.)
Me: Mom! Tell Tim we never talked in the morning.
Mom: We didn’t talk in the morning.
Me: No, I mean…that when we woke up we didn’t talk so we didn’t fight.
Mom: We didn’t talk so we didn’t fight…
Me: You’re totally not helping.
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Y’all – Tim and I are for serious probably somewhere over the East Coast – right. this. second. – so if you’re anywhere between Georgia and New York – wave! You can probably see our asses if you squint really hard.
We’re on the way to Thanksgiving #2 AND Turkey Trot #2.
Oh, yes. We found one. And we’re running it.
They give away pottery as prizes if you win.
Not that I plan on winning, but you know how much I love pottery.
We really just have to redeem ourselves.
I’ll shit skittles if we fuck it up and go the wrong direction twice in 7 days.
