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I’m totally stealing this “your person” thing from Grey’s Anatomy.
And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you really need to start watching Grey’s.
And if you’re not going to watch Grey’s, then let me briefly explain. Saying someone is “your person” is basically saying they’re your BFF. Like, B.F.F. – not a casual, “Oh…yah…she’s my BFF.” She is YOUR PERSON.
Anyway, enough of that.
Do you have a person?
Other than Tim, who will always be my person, I don’t. I mean, like, a girl person. A husband person is totally different – trumps all other scenarios.
But a girl person?
I haven’t had one of those in…………..wow. Probably middle school? I tried to think back to the last friend I had that I could really call my person – the one I told everything to, the one I always went to when something was wrong or when I needed to share a secret or whatever, the one I was always with or always called first to do things with – and I think that is the last time I can remember having a friend that I could call my person (Hello, Ashley. You know who you are. I still remember that fight in the library and the silent drive back to drop you off at your house…what was it about, again?…I don’t even remember…but you were still my person after that…).
Once I got into high school I kind of lost my friends. Some to basketball because I made the Varsity team – the only freshman to do so – and I guess that made some people mad. Believe me, I was just as shocked as they were…I certainly didn’t expect it…I digress. And then I lost others when I started having boyfriends and wanting to spend more time with them (the boys) (that was dumb) (Dear Any Girl Ever: Don’t stop seeing your friends because of boys)
Since then……no person.
I’m not even sure how to HAVE a person anymore, it has been so long. I don’t know how to be a BFF or a “person,” much less cultivate a friendship far enough along to get to that point.
Maybe it’s harder when you’re older to do that sort of thing, since we’re all about quality over quantity and no one has any time for BS. If it’s not working out?
Maybe I’m too weird? Or blunt? Or distant? Or…..all of the above?
I know it takes a long time for anyone to really “get to know me” because it takes *me* a long time to actually let that part of myself out because why am I going to completely open myself up and make all kinds of effort and try to be better friends when someone else comes along who happens to “click” better with said person and then….um……where’d they go?
It’s not to say I don’t try.
I’m just not entirely sure how to “click?” I guess?
Maybe I’m not a clicker?
Even in high school and college I kind of drifted between groups. I was never *in* a specific clique. I was just kind of semi-friends with everyone. Not good friends or close friends. Just friends.
So maybe that makes me a drifter?
I have no idea.
Wait…maybe it’s harder to have a person when you get older because everyone already HAS A PERSON.
It really shouldn’t be this complicated?
I’m probably overcomplicating it.
Dear Universe, Where is my (girl) person?