the ‘before i’m 30′…list…

I feel old.

Where is my spritely self?

Hidden, probably, behind the bags under my eyes. Oy.

I really can’t believe I’ll be the big 3-0 come February.

That realization FREAKS. ME. OUT.

I’m not *almost 30.* I’m still a kid. I still like coloring books and playing on the playground and summer vacation (!!!!!!) (whatever happened to that, anyway, real world? FAIL).

I guess that’s why I now *have* a kid. So I can do all the cool stuff and not look like a moron.

Getting old(er) is scary. There are still so many things I want to do. I never even MADE a “to do before I am 30″ bucket list. Oops? Granted, I had one in my brain and having a child was one of them so…check that one off. Wait  second…..if memory serves me correctly…I did make a list…lemme see if I can find it….

Yes!

Right where I left it…in my wallet, collecting dust and never even looked at except the day I made it…and maybe the next day after that…however many years ago…because I don’t even remember…I don’t even think I’ve shown this to anyone before – including Tim – so consider yourselves privileged.

The post its are a recent addition.

Obviously…failing. Miserably.

Maybe I should make a new list…the ‘before I’m 35 list’ that includes improving my penmanship because WOW that definitely says “three” on the pink post-it flag corresponding to the marathons…yes. A new list…I’ll do it right after I’m done playing with this cutie-patootie……..which means when he’s 18.

And then I guess at that point I’ll be over 35…wait. Isn’t there a rule somewhere that says I get to keep celebrating my 29th birthday?

life goals

First off, I know I keep talking about how tired I am. It’s because I’m obsessed with sleep, so, apologies if it’s getting old. You go four plus months with only around two hours of sleep at a time – average – and then come talk to me (if you’re able to have a coherent conversation. Because I’m not).

(and that sounded harsher than I meant. Maybe imagine hearts over the I’s and lots of smileys at the end)

Moving on….

I don’t think I’ve shared this before, maybe I have…but one of my lifetime goals is to complete an Ironman triathlon. And FYI that is a 2.4 mile open water swim followed by a 112 mile bike ride followed by running a full marathon (26.2 miles) followed by collapsing from the effort followed by the biggest meal I’ll probably ever eat followed by sleeping for three days straight.

I’ve yet to even do a sprint tri (the shortest kind)…but I feel like that kind of event is something that would be the ultimate challenge, mentally and physically. I know I would need a trainer, for sure, to get me through the grueling training.

And I’d have to find the time to train….this would probably be a “before I’m 40″ bucket list item. Tim’s goal was to run a full marathon – and he did it – twice (go Tim!).

My goal is slightly more intense.

I blame the years and years and years of playing competitive sports. I love physically challenging myself, pushing myself to the brink of my physical and mental capacity. I’m pretty sure anIronman would do that.

As would training for the Boston marathon, another desire of mine. I’d love love love to qualify for Boston. Looooove. Again, I’d need a trainer because the kind of speed work and hill work and pace runs needed to get fast enough to qualify would require someone screaming obscenities in my ear the entire time, probably. Definitely.

And I’m sure I’d be screaming right back.

But the pain and agony would be worth it. So, so worth it.

I’m not a fast runner, so getting my body to the point it can run around eight minute miles for 26.2 miles? Muy dificle.

(Tim and I are determined to learn Spanish…gotta start somewhere, right?)

I used to be a decent swimmer and swam on a swim team for six years, so I’m not as worried about that….and I’d have to harden my butt for 112 miles in the saddle….it’s the running FAST FOR HOURS that scares me the most.

But I want to do those two things SO BADLY.

I just need to start. And step one is making my goal public so I end up being held accountable.

Check.