Archive Page 3

So long, farewell, Colorado…

Did I ever mention how when Tim took the job here in Denver a few years ago (approximately 3 years and 6ish months ago, but who is counting?), that we signed up for it knowing we would have to leave….eventually? As in moved by Tim’s company? As in to a place that is NOT Colorado (from a “Wow! You live there?? You’re so lucky!” standpoint)?

Yes? No?

Either way, that time…..well….it’s finally upon us. It has happened.

We are moving to…..wait for it……

Arkansas.

OMG, why, right? Of ALL places…and FROM COLORADO TO ARKANSAS? Are you nuts? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around??

If you’re from Arkansas…live in Arkansas…looooove Arkansas….understand I have nothing against you and the state I know zero about. I just…I really like Colorado, is all.

When Tim was first approached about the Arkansas opportunity, he literally laughed (to me) like you’ve got to be kidding me. I tell them absolutely no, right?

Right?

Right?

……..

After some talking, and hemming, and lots of hawing, he decided, at bare minimum. to do some due diligence before completely dismissing it offhand, because I mean, amazing opportunities can grow from the most unlikely circumstances, you know?

You (proverbial you) probably shouldn’t turn your nose up when someone presents something to you that you think is ridiculous before learning more. We are firm believers that if something is supposed to happen and you carefully start tiptoeing on the path God wants you to go, you allow yourself to be led. When you are on the right path, doors open and obstacles disappear.

So that’s what we did.

And you know what? Tim had zero obstacles. Without going into super detail, everything just fell right into place. That’s how I know we are doing the right thing. We don’t have to fight it. It just…..it all works itself out.

While going through the process, some amazing things happened. Things that I absolutely believe will put Tim on a path that will undoubtedly skyrocket him to his desired career level.

Even though I was skeptical.

Even though I was like WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ARKANSAS (though it is the prettier part with mountains, the NW and Tim really liked it when he visited).

Even though the whole idea of moving with five animals (oh yes, 2 dogs, 3 cats, and an atrocious amount of fur) and a toddler is very daunting, I just knew….I had that sixth sense that this was the right move, the right way to go.

That feeling got stronger the more we learned as Tim got deeper and deeper into the interview process. I knew before the final step that he would be offered the job. I don’t know how….it’s just one of those things you can’t explain. You just know.

So, now, off we go in a whirlwind mad dash to get the house ready to sell, find a new home in a new place, and everything in between…and there is A LOT of everything in between. The checklists are overwhelming.

It doesn’t even seem real yet…that this is actually happening. It will be very hard to leave Colorado. We have extra special memories with this house, thanks to our wonderful Kellan. This is his first home. This is our first home as a family. That will always be so special for me. This is where I became a mom.

We have amazing, wonderful friends whom we will miss dearly, that Kellan will miss, too. And leaving a state that is so beautiful….it will be very difficult to say goodbye.

I guess it would be one thing if we had many months to prepare ourselves.

But that’s not how it works.

We have until probably the end of May. And it’s already May 12.

So, let the craziness continue….because it honestly began a few weeks ago. We are just now at the point where we are ready to share.

A new chapter…a new adventure…it is beginning.

I am thankful – April edition

And the happiness continues…

Also – FYI – I post on Instagram (jessicabold) pretty much daily, if you’d rather not wait for the monthly wrap up…

My 365 days of thankfulness. I reflected on the one thing I was most thankful for at the end of every day as part of my journey to live a happy, positive life…and FYI it’s not exactly a cake walk to change into Miss. Super Happy. It’s a real struggle some days….a real struggle. I know I said this verbatim last month, but it still holds true. Learning how to be happy is hard. And that seems really dumb to say…but after years of living in a kind of funk/ability to see the negative too easily/getting down on myself after a bad day/hour/minute, changing my views and inherent, automatic reactions take time. It takes actual consciousness to see when I’m slipping back into old habits…and sometimes I don’t realize that that’s what I have done until I’ve already done it….If that makes any sense…

…but this is what happened….in April.

(Catch up on the past months…JanuaryFebruary….March)

April 1: My goofball of a husband.

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April 2: A safe trip to a weekend getaway for Tim’s birthday AND snow! Kellan loves it! Also, we are not sure if the snow that is happening now will be the last “big” snow that Kellan (and the dogs, who are here with us) sees for awhile….and we had no idea it was going to snow until a few days ago…(this picture was before it really started coming down).

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April 3: Finally realizing that there is actually a sleep regression around 24 (or so) months. Because I am going crazy and it is making me crazy and I have lost all patience waaaaay too many times already because I LOVE SLEEP AND I AM GETTING NONE. I am instead getting woken up every two hours/having battles over going to sleep/ridiculously late bedtimes (looking at you, 11pm)/etc/etc/etc. I’m really hoping that acknowledging this will help me make peace with it and be a better, more gracious mom instead of a crazy person.

April 4: a random stop at the local grocery store for Crazy Bugs Mac and cheese (because they didn’t have “tractor pasta”) and a “remembry” that a stationary train was nearby netted one happy kid with the “biggest train I’ve (he’s) ever seen!”

April 5: Reconnection and “truth grapes.”

April 6: orange play doh that I had put away for Kellan’s Easter basket…and while Tim and Kellan were playing with the small tubs we already had, I mentioned in passing I had purchased orange and green…and Kellan walked over and asked for the orange one….so instead of saying no, I went and got it for him. When I came back into the loft and handed it him, he started dancing around and said, “I’m dancing! I’m happy!” That genuine reaction was so worth it.

April 7: linen closet de-clutter and organization. Organizing and order make me happy.

April 8: Junk drawers – Yes. Plural. Three to be exact – have been de-junked!!

April 9: no idea what to write. I’m thankful the day is over? That’s so bad to say….oh! I’m thankful for friends who send me inappropriate disney pictures. Because after a night of basically zero sleep (OVER IT, sleep regressions. OVER. IT.), I needed the laugh.

April 10: my lock screen. I changed it yesterday and every time I look at it, it makes me smile…warms my heart.
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April 11: being able to be outside! It’s so nice and warm….but not too hot!

April 12: Kellan learned how to “kiss” making the noise with his lips. It is so cute! He kept asking to kiss our cheeks this morning after waking up.

April 13: More organization stuff done. Basement style.

April 14: Two unsolicited thank yous from Kellan. One in Michael’s after handing him back a Cars book )after the cashier scanned it) I let him buy. He even waited patiently to take off the stickers inside until we paid for it…but after I handed it back he said, “thank you for my Cars book.” MELT. Then right after in Petco (cat food and dog treat run), while we were checking out, the cashier asked him if he wanted a coloring sheet and he said yes, so she handed him one and he goes, “thank you for my coloring sheet.” MELT AGAIN. I guess we’re doing something right after all.

April 15: The random trip to the grocery store after dinner, just Kellan and me, that led to a random employee holding a red balloon, meeting us at a corner as we turned out of an aisle, and saying, “does he want a balloon?” DOES HE WANT A BALLOON?! Are you kidding me?? Made his whole day. And a red one at that “just like Christopher Robin’s!” Kellan made a point to tell him thank you and couldn’t wait to get home to tell Tim about it. It’s the little things.

April 16: Tim making me laugh at dinner….regarding one of his employees saying he should just to put his pee pee on the table (metaphor for being honest/trying to change) and then Tim being all, “I should tape three sizes on the desk when he walks in for his review and be like, so, how big of a change are we going for?” Inappropriate at best but it was hysterical. Had to be there. He didn’t actually say that to the work person.

April 17: How Kellan never has an actual temper tantrum when we have to leave a place. Like today at the park after the (super fun Kellan had a blast!) egg hunt, every other kid cried or protested leaving, except Kellan. I told him it was time to walk home and have lunch, and he got up and started walking, zero complaint. I think I take that for granted sometimes, the ability to reason with him.

April 18: Laughter. Tim gets funnier and funnier the more tired he is….not sure that’s a good thing but it gives me a good laugh during dinner time storytelling, anyway.

April 19: RAIN! Steady, soaking rain. It’s so rare here….

April 20: awesome, nontraditional Easter meal (hello chicken kabobs and amazing Israeli cous cous…and wine….and a few jelly beans because I mean, hello!) and a fun family day all around. Pictures. Baskets. Egg hunt.
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April 21: Tim getting to his first super travel work destination safely. And this article. Because being a mom is a super important job. Just ask Julia Roberts. http://m.us.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702304512504579491530648481774?mobile=y

April 22: Tim made it safely to his hotel after crazy travel day 2. AND it was the most PERFECT evening. The temperature was perfect. The walk/playing at the (really busy) park was perfect. Kellan and I had a really nice time. It was one of those moments you want to try and remember.

April 23: totally impromptu dinner guest friends who brought dinner and stayed awhile so the evening wasn’t so lonely while solo with Kellan.

April 24: Kellan. How much love and laughter and pure joy he brings to my life. I absolutely adore being his mom and feel so lucky to have such an incredible kid.

April 25: I mowed the lawn! And weeded! All by myself! Well, Kellan helped. And we have a self-powered mower. Think blades in front, no cords, no batteries. Just (wo)man power. And Tim is finally home safely. Hooray!

April 26: A beautiful, smart, amazing, and healthy son and a wonderful, loving, funny, and also healthy husband.

April 27: Kellan FINALLY pooped. You have no idea how much trauma and tears “stuck poop” will cause.

April 28: Kellan schooling Tim a after dinner on how to pronounce dinosaur names. “No, I’m sorry, it’s [insert really long and hard to say Dino name here]“

April 29: this conversation: Kellan, you have stinky toots, do you have to poop?

“No. I don’t feel it. It’s just stickers coming out.”

Oh. Stinky stickers?

Yes.”

April 30: my Super friend. Replace super with best and yah. She’s pretty awesome.

For me….

Who am I, even? I mean, I was thinking about it last night (why, brain? I have no idea). I realized that not once in my life had I ever say myself down for a little chat. Something like, “Hi, self. Where do you see your life going? Who and what do you want to be?”

I’ve just kind of let the wind take me wherever….and here I am. Mom. Wife. Thirty-one years old (OMG).

I mean, “the wind” really took me to lofty places. I have nothing to complain about. I can go buy a burrito for lunch without a second thought (I actually did have a burrito for lunch, thank you very much. Bean and cheese, more like lots of bean, where’s the cheese?). I have the most incredible kid ever….husband’s not too shabby, either. Cleans up nice. Smells good. Makes breakfast on the weekends.

But yes, see. Here’s where we find the dilemma. What about me? Am I just supposed to be a mom and that’s it? I feel like, as much as I truly love and feel so blessed to be a mom – because I actually love my “job,” I feel like there should be more. For me. I want more. For me. Is that so wrong?

I feel like it’s not. At all. I just don’t know what I want. I don’t know what my role is supposed to be. Am I supposed to be the support system for Tim, so he can climb the ladder and reach his career goals…while at the same time, devote most of my productive time and energy to raising Kellan? Then once all that happens, I can switch gears? Do my stuff?

I know that there are many moms who do it all. Work and wife and parent. I am not sure how I could handle that…I’m barely keeping it together some days and I don’t have a (second) job that requires my attention. I have no idea how the working moms/wives do it all without going crazy. Mad respect for you women.

Still. I feel like I need something for me. To feel accomplished. Like I’m doing something for myself, my life. Something lasting. Meaningful.

But whaaaaaaaat……..?????

(Rhetorical question)

I am thankful – March edition

And the happiness continues…

Also – FYI – I post on Instagram (jessicabold) pretty much daily, if you’d rather not wait for the monthly wrap up…

My 365 days of thankfulness. I reflected on the one thing I was most thankful for at the end of every day as part of my journey to live a happy, positive life…and FYI it’s not exactly a cake walk to change into Miss. Super Happy. It’s a real struggle some days….a real struggle.

…but this is what happened….in March.

(Catch up on the past months…JanuaryFebruary)

March 1: reminiscing about old board games (Uno! Risk! (That’s all Tim) Candy Land! (this one is all me) Trivial Pursuit! Chess! Chutes and Ladders!) we used to play and how we can’t wait to have “game night” with Kellan. And also how when I ran out to get the mail before dinner, I go, “after these messages, I’ll be right back.” And then Tim sings the jingle I was referencing. I didn’t think he’d get it. But he did. And it cracked me up.

March 2: getting sh*t done.

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March 3: The weather being nice enough for a family walk after dinner. I really enjoy them and it has been actual MONTHS since we have been able to do this. Also: pretty sunset.

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March 4: a fun morning outside! Finally! Spring is coming! I won’t even mention how it’s supposed to snow tonight….and Friday….and next week…

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March 5: Finding my “homesteading” twin!

March 6: Friends. Friends who randomly make me treats. Friends who listen. Friends who let me borrow their washer/dryer.

March 7: Tax return!!

March 8: A gorgeous day. A lovely family walk. And an impromptu snowball fight in 50 degree weather (Kellan won).

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March 9: The Container Store. And pantry reorganization.

March 10: Horses! I had no idea Kellan would like seeing them IN REAL LIFE UPCLOSE so much.

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March 11: Kellan doing really well on our impromptu errand to the vet (cat annual check ups/bagel date while waiting for the vet to finish (when we got to the bagel place he said “I’m excited!”).

March 12: Realizing that Kellan wanted/needed to just talk about whatever (guessing it will start to be things he is unsure/confused/frightened about before going to bed. Tonight it started with him saying…kind of out of the blue… that he didn’t want to be afraid of the loud and booming Ratatouille (thank you crazy person in the beginning shooting a shotgun at the rat in your kitchen. Overreaction, much? Related: will be pre-screening all movies now). I am partly wondering if some of the nights where he is AWAKE. FOR. HOURS. (Think 1-4 am) is because he needs to talk about/work through these kinds of things before falling asleepand I wasn’t really giving him the proper outlet/platform before going to bed. Wow. I feel slightly enlightened, now.

March 13 (note – apparent “breakthrough” from yesterday was all for naught. Awake again from 3:30/4 – almost 6am) (second note: even though I *am* actually thankful for something every day, the whole morph into the happiest person ever isn’t exactly going swimmingly. I guess this is a rough patch. So much personal drama weighing me down): Anyway, I am thankful for me hitting the paste button – accidentally – while writing out my thankfulness – but the thing that was pasted went in the perfect spot. It’s amazing. And funny…Just…read to the end. The original thankfulness started with …”I struggle…” below:

…..I struggle coming up with something on days where the end of the day wasn’t very fun/full of irritation….and all I really do is lay here and think about all the things…but I am very thankful for ….Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so… (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) “We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.” (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) “It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving.” (Phoebe nods her approval.) “We too can share and love and have and receive.” ….and now for the actual thankful thing I was typing….a friend who willingly helps me out in a moments notice. Literally one text saying I need help in less than 24 hours and in sum, the response is, “No problem.”

(I had copied/pasted that Friends excerpt from Joey for a text message to Tim earlier today and in the funny way life works, it made a second appearance and made me laugh exactly when I needed it most)

March 14: Maternal instinct. As in Kellan somehow got a metal lid from a glass jar of juice lodged in his throat and the second I realized what was happening/heard Tim yell “KELLAN!” I was at the kitchen table/had Kellan bent over my arm/got the thing out in probably five seconds. Not even exaggerating. Also: I’m still recovering from being scared out of my mind, post actions (because I legit only acted on instinct/had zero conscious thought during it all) as is Tim.

March 15: realized the nights in a row of Kellan being awake for HOURS was exactly what I thought – developmental. His pretend play just took a turn for amazing. He’s not pretending things – like a chip clip – are other things – like a phone. And he’s “calling” people (currently Mr. Bloomsbury from the Curious George movie). And his play voices are changing/becoming more defined/vast/creative. He’s also practicing various facial expressions. I’m really glad I was right….that sounds kind of pompous….but I mean, I was right. And as a mom, that feels good. Also, while out and about, we legit saw a bald eagle circle a parking lot. I watched it swoop down and was all, “THAT WAS A BALD EAGLE!” And Tim was all, “I KNOW!” And then we tried to find it again while circling the parking lot and not paying attention to the road/almost hitting a car. But it was gone. SO COOL though. And so random. Why was it there? Hopefully just passing through….

March 16: the water/sand table. Guessing this purchase will be a life saver come summer.

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March 17: I am pretty sure I wore zero green today. My bad. Anyhow, I am thankful for this…even though it meant I had to go clean up dog poo:

Kellan said he wanted to go outside. I took him out. He beelines to the grass. I said where are you going? He said, “To find dog poop!”

Oh. Also very thankful for an impromptu fun time making cookies (Kellan does it for the “batter.” Who needs cookies?)

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March 18: OUR WASHER IS FIXED!!!!!! You have no idea how happy I am to be able to wash. clothes. in. my. own. house.

I’m also thankful for how incredibly blessed we are as a family. After reading this (it is pretty lengthy), my heart broke. Even growing up, my mom always made sure my brothers and I had “enough,” that we didn’t go without, that we had proper health/dental care. Even if it meant she did without. We did not have loads of money, and she still gives up so much for my younger brothers. My mom made sure we never felt the financial burden. What an incredible sacrifice. And I am so thankful that Tim works his ass off to provide such a comfortable life.

March 19: how much fun it was on an impromptu Kellan and mommy lunch date. Instead of food going everywhere and just general chaos, we actually talked and ate and just enjoyed each other’s company. It was really nice. Just ignore the no-utensil policy he has adopted.

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March 20: so, today at the park, when one of Kellan's friends came over and asked him if he wanted to go swing, he says, VERBATIM: "no, thank you." I may not do everything right as a mom, and Tim may not do everything right as a dad, but we are most assuredly doing something right if our TWO YEAR OLD says “no, thank you.”

March 21: Tim hulled my 4 pints of strawberries. He said he was only doing half and I was in the kitchen trying to get other stuff done when Kellan asked to leave/do other stuff (he was in his learning tower, helping). So Kellan and I are in the family room and Tim goes, “I’m almost halfway done.” And then a few minutes later he comes in, says he’s finished, and we switch, I go into the kitchen, first make a comment about him leaving the chocolate basket out (doesn’t everyone have a chocolate basket in their pantry?) and then go to the kitchen island to start my half, look in the bowl of hulled berries, see a green leaf, and was all, “Green leaf! Quality control!”…..(the berries are for jam and who wants leaves in their jam?)…..and AS I SAY THAT, I look into the bowl of strawberries to hull….and it’s empty. Tim had done them all already. I just started cracking up, called myself a piece of work, and went back in the family room to thank him. Such a sweet surprise, even if it took me five minutes to see it.

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(Don’t you love Kellan’s “help?” So adorable)

March 22: learning how to make jam with friends (my first time)! Even if it didn’t set properly, it was still fun!

March 23: mini-organization. As in I RE-folded all of the clothes/got rid of old socks/etc in my dresser and removed all of the t-shirts I’ve accumulated from races from the closet. They live in a drawer, now. I won’t mention the box of t-shirts the basement….. #runnerprobs

March 24: So, this nice older lady sat right next to me at Whole Foods in the dining area (got Kellan some lunch). She was probably 70s or so? Anyway at first I was like WHY are you sitting next to me and then Kellan tried to start talking to her, so I softened and just went with it. It was really sweet. He kept telling/showing her what he was eating/drinking, and then kept saying “what’s he called?” And finally I realized he was asking what her name was, so I asked him if he was asking what her name was. He said yes, so she told him. Then she asked his name. He told her. And he hept on talking, talking to her. She finally asked how old he was and I said two and she was like WOW. It was all really sweet and for all I know, it might have made her day just a little brighter, so it was worth me being more willing to open up and be kind instead of wrapped up in my world. When she left, kellan kept asking where “Patricia” went.

March 25: after saying I love you and goodnight to Kellan, he goes, “I love you too!” And he never really answers me when I say that, more like a silent, “Duh.” So hearing that response? Heart melt.

March 26: when walking to the reservoir with Kellan today (in stroller), we were just talking about whatever….and all of a sudden i was like, wow. He is so much fun right now. We can actually have a real conversation where he has an opinion. And in general, he’s just a lot of fun to do stuff with. I told him this, how much fun I had/was having with him and how enjoyable his company was every day.

March 27: Tim is home safely!

March 28: Starting over. Basically, marriage is hard.

March 29: Kellan seeing horses up close for the first time during a random trip to a local trail we FINALLY decided to visit. He loved it/wasn’t scared at all. He loves horses…no idea why. We will be talking about Jasper and Dandy for awhile, I am sure.

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March 30: success with the Thomas and Lightning McQueen bubble blowers/impulse buy at the grocery store!

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March 31: Tim paying it forward at Chick-fil-a.

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roots and wings

Ugh.

We are really kind of (because that’s not at all ambiguous phrasing…) struggling with trying to decide/find THE PLACE we will call “home.” We have kind of been in a holding pattern, knowing that Tim’s job will move us eventually at some point who knows when (this is the kind of verbiage you get when it’s almost 11pm. You’re welcome). Because of this – the probable moving – we haven’t really made huge leaps to set down firm roots.

Granted, Kellan WILL be affected by a move. The child who remembers exactly where you have things in your house the first time he visits expects those things to be in the SAME SPOT the next time he returns. If not, he asks where they went because order. must. be. restored. He has friends here. There are places he knows and recognizes and enjoys to visit. I know how to get to the grocery store (now).

So, moving him to an entirely new town/neighborhood/house is going to be really, really hard. I know this because I am mom. And the starting over finding friends….and the grocery store….it’s hard (unless you have a navigation system, and then it’s really just an extra step that sometimes I don’t like to take because I feel like a grocery store really shouldn’t be that difficult to locate….I digress)

Anyhow, back to the where….and I should just keep going with the …………………………

I’m pretty sure I have told you that Tim and I are Type A to the extreme. I’m also beginning to realize we are perfectionists, albeit regarding completely different things (but, hey, at least the dishes are emptied from the drying rack and the stainless is always streak free), to a fault. We’re also raising another perfectionist, so it’s all just a barrel of laughs over here when things get chaotic……..

Anyhow.

It’s hard to stay on task when it is late……

So, as I was saying, being Type A Perfectionists pretty much means we want to get it right the first time, even though, to be honest, it will probably be two moves before it is all said and done. And we only have so much control as to where we move next. And then there are places we would really love to live….but are those places the right fit? Who knows.

But. Kellan.

We need to get it right for him. And we have no idea where “right” is….or how to know if whatever place will be “right.” I have never really had actual thoughts about how this would be important…vital…to live in a place we love, that Kellan loves, that has good schools/low crime/four seasons/snow/nice people/big yards/fill in the blank of all the things you’d want in a “perfect” home and surrounding area.

When it’s just two, no kids, you can make do and figure it out. But when you’re trying to raise a child, you do everything that you can to get it right, even through mistakes, you have this burning desire to give them the absolute best that you are able, and sometimes, like now, like with big, life altering decisions, you wish you had a crystal ball.

I realize you make a house a home and a town your community/friend base, but it just isn’t that easy….it is more complicated than that…at least for me.

These….these are the thoughts that sometimes keep me up at night when I should be sleeping. Because two year olds don’t sleep in.

reality check

This isn’t really…okay. Question. Have you ever realized you made the wrong call about a good person? I mean, sure, we all know when we know someone isn’t right for us. That’s actually easier to deal with and accept. They weren’t right/didn’t click/mesh. Your brain can justify that. Pretty cut and dry for the most part.

But what about those people you kind of kept on the bench…on the sidelines…for no reason?

Then, one day, it’s like reality comes around and cold clocks you right across the jaw all, “What is wrong with you? This person should be part of your starting five. Get their ass onto the hardwood.”

(You’re welcome for the analogy, basketball fans. Lest I not get too far from my roots)

This happened to me recently. Like as in this week. And once I realized it, in my brain, I was just like, wow. What was I (not) thinking?! Why wasn’t I cultivating this friendship for the past YEAR (plus?)?!

My bad. My fault. My loss.

This person? Amazing. Truly one of those “good people” who are pretty impossible to find. I don’t even *know* her as well as I would like to, but I don’t even question that she falls into that category. There aren’t many people who do….and what she did for me today, completely unsolicited/unexpected, as in I got a text while Kellan and I were out, saying there was something for us on my porch, was one of the nicest things anyone has done for me (that I didn’t know was happening/ask for/expect/etc) in a really long time (long story short: macaroons, Pooh book for Kellan, and a long forgotten about/unexpected payback from Halloween).

I’m partially kicking myself for wasting so much time not getting to know her, but at the same time, I am glad I received a reality check from life. Because now I can try to remedy the situation. To get to know her. Spend more time. Cultivate and grow.

I’m hoping it’s not too late.

it will all make sense…in reverse

I know…my actual blogging is basically non-existent. I’ve been trying to let go of some social media….like Facebook and having/checking my phone in general. Less internet. More life.

Also? We have had a lot going on the past few months.

A LOT.

Some was getting ready for and having Kellan’s party…some just every day stuff…some still ongoing “drama things” that I’m not at liberty to discuss at the moment, even though I REALLY WANT TO.

Tim and I have been trying to embrace taking life one day at a time….to accept that everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn’t make any sense. We have had a few really big swings of both highs and lows in quick succession, and they seem to keep happening, even today, so adjusting to it all has been a big challenge, because the highs we have had haven’t really lasted long enough to fully enjoy (or feel like we got to soak it in, even) before something else comes along and takes the wind out of our sails.

I say all of this….and it kind of makes it sound like life altering/shattering things are happening….and maybe in the long term, they are? Obviously we have no idea what anything means at the moment – the why or how or whatever – which is why we are trying to just take each day as it comes.

It is much harder to practice this than it is to preach it, by the way. Follow your own advice, they say. Be the bigger person. Let it all go. It happens for a reason, they say….

This is the quote that has been getting me through life these days, basically.

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this is where you ask those burning questions

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my past…it happened

clever girls

stealing is not nice


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