roots and wings

Ugh.

We are really kind of (because that’s not at all ambiguous phrasing…) struggling with trying to decide/find THE PLACE we will call “home.” We have kind of been in a holding pattern, knowing that Tim’s job will move us eventually at some point who knows when (this is the kind of verbiage you get when it’s almost 11pm. You’re welcome). Because of this – the probable moving – we haven’t really made huge leaps to set down firm roots.

Granted, Kellan WILL be affected by a move. The child who remembers exactly where you have things in your house the first time he visits expects those things to be in the SAME SPOT the next time he returns. If not, he asks where they went because order. must. be. restored. He has friends here. There are places he knows and recognizes and enjoys to visit. I know how to get to the grocery store (now).

So, moving him to an entirely new town/neighborhood/house is going to be really, really hard. I know this because I am mom. And the starting over finding friends….and the grocery store….it’s hard (unless you have a navigation system, and then it’s really just an extra step that sometimes I don’t like to take because I feel like a grocery store really shouldn’t be that difficult to locate….I digress)

Anyhow, back to the where….and I should just keep going with the …………………………

I’m pretty sure I have told you that Tim and I are Type A to the extreme. I’m also beginning to realize we are perfectionists, albeit regarding completely different things (but, hey, at least the dishes are emptied from the drying rack and the stainless is always streak free), to a fault. We’re also raising another perfectionist, so it’s all just a barrel of laughs over here when things get chaotic……..

Anyhow.

It’s hard to stay on task when it is late……

So, as I was saying, being Type A Perfectionists pretty much means we want to get it right the first time, even though, to be honest, it will probably be two moves before it is all said and done. And we only have so much control as to where we move next. And then there are places we would really love to live….but are those places the right fit? Who knows.

But. Kellan.

We need to get it right for him. And we have no idea where “right” is….or how to know if whatever place will be “right.” I have never really had actual thoughts about how this would be important…vital…to live in a place we love, that Kellan loves, that has good schools/low crime/four seasons/snow/nice people/big yards/fill in the blank of all the things you’d want in a “perfect” home and surrounding area.

When it’s just two, no kids, you can make do and figure it out. But when you’re trying to raise a child, you do everything that you can to get it right, even through mistakes, you have this burning desire to give them the absolute best that you are able, and sometimes, like now, like with big, life altering decisions, you wish you had a crystal ball.

I realize you make a house a home and a town your community/friend base, but it just isn’t that easy….it is more complicated than that…at least for me.

These….these are the thoughts that sometimes keep me up at night when I should be sleeping. Because two year olds don’t sleep in.

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2 Responses to “roots and wings”


  1. 1 Jolene March 19, 2014 at 8:57 am

    I hope your move takes you to Boston, just saying ;-) In all seriousness, I never even thought of it this way, obviously since I do not have kids, how much a move really affects them, almost entirely the most (I never moved as a kid either, so that is a big part of why I don’t think of it that way I think). You are doing right by him in taking him into account hugely, and trying to get it right the first time. (so interesting that you are both type A and for different reasons! I am glad M is NOT type A, we might kill each other hehe, (but at least type A’ers ‘get’ each other, right!?). XOXO

  2. 2 mrsloquacious1 March 19, 2014 at 9:42 am

    Type A or not, the most important thing is that K has the love and security of his mommy and daddy. He can weather any move of any change as long as he has security knowing that you will be there. 😊
    When you do get word to move, maybe start the process of “front-loading” the concept to him? Read books about moving, make a book about this current home and one about the new home, take pictures and videos, say good-byes to neighbourhood features that he is fond of, get him excited about a “new adventure,” help him understand that the stuff in the house isn’t going away forever, reassure him that you are always going to be right there with him, find a momento from this current place (eg a rock from a nearby stream, etc.) for him to keep, and let him have time to grieve this “loss.” I haven’t had to move yet (we already moved when she was two months old), but it’s also in the cards for us in the next few years; these are the things I plan to do to make it easier on DD.

    Get some sleep my friend! Life is too short to be up late worrying about “one day” …. xoxo


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