things happen differently when one parent is mia

***Obligatory “please vote for Kellan by clicking here” header***

Remember how I said Tim was out of town the other week?

Well, that meant solo-parent bathing of the baby for yours truly.

And that doesn’t seem like a big deal, especially when Tim is usually the one asking all the questions like, “How do you do this? Which one does he like? What do you do first?”…..Ad infinitum. I know what Kellan likes and needs and wants at all hours of the day and night.

I KNOW HIS ROUTINE.

Now, a typical, “routine” bath night? I’m *in* the tub *with* Kellan and Tim does all the bath water filling/temperature check, washing and drying and post bath duties (lotion, diaper cream, etc).

I really didn’t consider that little tidbit of knowledge (that I was apparently lacking) when one night I was all, “Ok, Kellan, let’s do this thing.”

What is the bath temperature supposed to be at, again? I remember he likes it *between* a particular range…is it 99.9 to 100.3?…100.0 to 100.6?….um….punt.

Whatever the temperature was, I don’t think I got it right because he wasn’t exactly thrilled with the water and he’s usually fine.

After setting him into the tub and trying to hold him in a sitting position with one hand while washing/putting soap on the wash cloth/getting in between all the creases with the other hand – Related? I need an extra hand –  I lifted him out and wrapped him up in a towel. Probably not at all the same way Tim does, but at least we had a towel.

I’m not really sure how clean we actually got but, hey, better than nothing. Gold star for the effort.

Before leaving the bathroom, we stood in front of the mirror to sing the nightly after-bath song, which is basically a version of “one-two, buckle my shoe…” while doing squats. Kellan loves it, though. My quads…well, suffice it to say Tim told me the other day, “Wow. You’re getting really good at those deep knee bends.” As in: full on squats while holding  23+ pound child.

Holla atcha wifey. She’ll be ripped before his first birthday.

Right, so, anyway…this is where everything becomes fuzzy because my role in the entire process is ZERO.

I know Tim puts Kellan on the bed and I know he’s still in his towel and I know he gives him the lotion thing to play with but that is the extent of my knowledge.

The order of which things – like the diaper cream and lotion and drying the hair and putting on the diaper… – happen?

[cue final Jeopardy music]

I’m pretty sure…no. I’m positive I didn’t do it the way Tim does because Kellan kept looking at me like, “Um…this isn’t the right order. What are you doing? Why are you doing that now? That comes after the lotion. Do you have any idea what you’re doing, woman??”

Apparently….no. I have no idea what I’m doing.

WHERE’S YOUR FATHER?

About these ads