This might scare non-parents away from having children.
For that…I’m not really sorry…because someone needs to tell you the truth.
May as well be me.
There is no gradual adjustment to parenthood. The second the baby comes out your life is forever changed, ready or not.
Your “typical” lazy weekends or impromptu “let’s go for a run” moments vanish. The priority becomes the baby and FYI: the baby doesn’t allow for a lazy weekend or impromptu anything. With a baby, one must plan hours in advance to make sure they’re fed and have slept or will sleep and are in their “happy hour” window instead of the cranky pants one.
The phone call I’ve gotten every day for seven years while Tim is on way home from work? Gone. Replaced by baby care. Phone calls? Who has time for those?
The routine evenings of dinner and watching DVRed shows? Those no longer exist. We’re lucky to get through one 30 minute show without a diaper change or crying fit or the need for the food train (nursing).
Obviously, it has been really hard to adjust to the *new* normal. 99.9% of my day is spent caring for a baby and the other .01 percent is spent in the shower. My 20 minute “baby break.”
It’s different from any other “job” I’ve had. Those ended at 5pm-ish. Those I could detach myself from mentally and physically.
The job of “mom” doesn’t allow for either luxury.
I’m not sure how couples without a strong foundation make it through this new parent phase. Tim and I have already had it out once…both of us going completely off the deep end thanks to sleep deprivation, stress, adjusting to our new roles, etc.
I’m now completely and solely focused on Kellan while Tim is having to pick up the slack – aka everything I was doing before Kellan – like laundry and vacuuming and making dinner and cleaning and and AND.
It’s a huge adjustment for both of us and I’m not sure we were prepared for this part.
Actually, I lied just then.
We weren’t prepared at all.
I don’t know how
you anyone can prepare, really. It’s like you have to live it to understand and then live on a wing and a prayer, hoping your relationship is strong enough to weather the storm, albeit temporary.
This week is my first week with Kellan all by myself. After 20 straight days of help and having my meals made by someone else, I’m all alone, fending for myself and have no idea what is in the refrigerator.
Also…make sure you – those of you who are about to have your own baby or eventually end up down the pregnancy/parenthood road – figure out how take a picture like this.
It makes a broken vaj, the late nights and frustrating moments when you want to cry – or are crying – worth it.