7000+ words and 2 days? not awesome.

You *might* have forgotten…but I’m doing that whole nanowrimo thing…yah. THAT.

Well, the month is almost over and I’ve got a slight uphill battle…uphill as in 7000 words in 2 days.

Why 2 and not 3?

I’m an overachiever and I am required to be finished by tomorrow.

Period.

I mean, if I was all shady and had no conscience, I could just copy and paste booshy blessings into my story and I’d be SET.

But unfortunately, I do have a conscience…and well, your thankfulness won’t exactly fit into my storyline…

So, that’s where I am today.

And where I’ll be tomorrow.

Though, tomorrow, I’m going to try and be funny.

Just for you.

And by the way, the flight home yesterday was shitty. REALLY SHITTY.

We couldn’t figure out if the pilot thought he was driving a drag racer or had never used a thruster before.

Either way, he couldn’t pick a speed…find a spot without turbulence….and nevermind we’re 10,000 feet in the air…and his “flight crew” didn’t take trash. That task was beneath them, apparently.

This was the conversation between the Asian flight attendant who had died her hair platinum blonde and a random woman in front of Tim and I:

Woman with Trash (WWT): Is there any way you can take this for me?

Asian Flight Attendant (AFA): I don’t take trash.

WWT: ummmm…really? So you’d rather I just through it on the floor or stuff in in the seat pocket or maybe just chuck it…see where it lands?

AFA: I don’t take trash. You’re just going to have to hold it.

Yes. I’m for serious.

And you can have peanuts OR pretzels.

Not both.

Taking both means you have to pay for the second one…with exact change. Cash only, people.

That is, unless your husband is nice and decides to take the other kind…to cheat the stupid ass system.

I was apparently on to something with my whole thing on budget cuts.

And I’m pretty sure they had to replace all of the tires after we landed.

I can’t be entirely sure, though, if we were riding on rims or the tarmac was just rough, as I was busy pulling my head from the ceiling since we bounced down the runway and then, once the pilot managed to get all of the wheels on the ground, he immediately slammed on the breaks and sent the entire plane, passengers included, careening into the seats in front of them.

Yay Delta (begin exaggerated finger twirling and eye rolling)

You suck.

the trots. they happen

If you haven’t read this yet, you should. Just sayin.

As for our Thanksgiving # 2…

It started with Turkey Trot # 2. They had chip timing and everything…or something like that. We’re still not entirely sure if we were being timed or were on probation…

The race course went down country roads and through neighborhoods. Where, exactly? Shit…I couldn’t even tell you how we got there if I wanted to…it’s all roads and trees and random houses to me. Ask Evelyn, the GPS.

In the neighborhood section we were almost run right the hell over by an irate woman in a minivan. Apparently, she had somewhere she needed to go and apparently some runner dude decided that wasn’t happening. He ran right along beside her, yelling into her drivers side window all, “Stop your car, asshole! This is a race…which means you need to park your fat fucking self on the curb and WAIT.”

True story.

Anyway, after the police (yes, the police) stopped her at the end of the neighborhood, everyone was fairly complacent until we hit the end of the race where the course squeezes down into a 2 foot wide muddy, downhill, root infested track where Tim and I almost ended up on our asses about 17 times in the span of 30 seconds – it was THAT bad.

(notice how I said *almost* which means: it didn’t happen)

We finished without going the wrong direction (yay us!), ate a cookie and an apple (well, Tim had a banana, but, whatever) and then drove back to his parents house to participate in the gluttony that was to be spread out over the remainder of the day.

This is us, post-race and pre-feast.

We totally went the right way. And we burned calories, which means more food. Yay! We're pretty sure we're awesome.

We have nothing post-feast…blame it on the food-induced coma. Or the pies.

Pie? No, this is not pie. This is ridiculous.

Today brings another tradition: Croissant sandwiches with leftover turkey, cranberry sauce and stuffing.

Yah…I thought it was disgusting too when Tim first told me about it.

But it’s actually a mouth-gasm and I’m recommending you try it.

Today.

Oh, and tonight, if you’re an East Coaster, wave!

Our asses will be flying home.

booshy blessings (aka we’re being thankful today, dammit)

(Just a little heads-up: You *might* want to consider getting dressed and stocking up with rations that will last at least a week before reading. I wanted to warn you before your old auntie finds you half naked, passed out from a leg cramp or severe hunger pangs. You’re welcome.)

A year ago, I would have never imagined I would have a blog. A blog? What the hell? I didn’t even understand what it was nor did I have plans to have one. Even in the early months of booshy, I had no idea I would develop a circle of friends, readers, stalkers and the like that extend to the far reaches of the globe. I was happy with a single comment. Today? Well…let me say I will always, always be thankful for your comments. They keep me more than motivated. They keep booshy alive.

Now, a special request.  I mean, I rarely ask for anything…(let’s not finish that sentence…we’ll just let it hang out there…)

But, please read everyone’s list of thankfulness. Not because you physically cannot move after that last piece of pie or because you have nothing better to do because first, some who sent in their thankfulness don’t even CELEBRATE Thanksgiving, so taking time to read is probably the right thing to do – especially if you celebrate – cause everyone’s supposed to be all nice and warm and fuzzy (and stuffed)  today.

And secondly (and only slightly more important) it is a humbling experience that may bring you to your knees. It will make you want to reach out and hug your significant other and your children – the two- or four-legged kind…make you want to do something to have your world be a better place…today, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, you will feel like the luckiest person on the planet because you will realize you have a lot to be thankful for each and every day.

Plus…you aren’t just reading some blog.

You are all connected. You’re all part of this…of booshy.  We are becoming a family – a family that I am personally proud of and feel a great deal of responsibility for – as should you – because without you, this family would not be complete.

Are we growing? Of course. That’s what happens with families. And we accept the crazy aunt and the sometimes-present cousins.

But regardless, always remember today. Remember why you’re here.

To everyone who participated in booshy blessings:

I am utterly blown away at the amount of perseverance, determination and sheer grit you each posses. When so many would have laid down their armor and simply said, “I quit,” you kept at it. You continued to fight and you clawed your way to the top. You’ve overcome so much and yet, you are still thankful.

I am humbled.

Happy (American) Thanksgiving, everyone.

P.S. the order is your hyperlinked blog followed by the state or country where you live (if I could find it on your blog) and finally, your list of thankfulness. This: *********  is the little handy separator so everyone has their own space. You’re welcome.

P.P.S: And if I got something wrong or you’ve since decided to move and are no longer in the location listed…today is not the day to yell at me. *That* day is tomorrow.

Monica from Dirty Hooker (New York)

Things I am thankful for:

1. My fiancé. We got engaged during the summer of this year. We’d been talking about getting married for several months, but we decided to make it official when my mother was given three months to live. We knew my mother wouldn’t live to see the wedding, but we wanted her to know we were going to be married, and the look of joy on her face was so, so worth it. My fiancé is my rock, and I would be insane now without him. He gives me hope when things suck and adds to my joy when they don’t. And he makes awesome omelets.

2. Getting the chance to be with my mother when she died. My mother adopted me out of foster care when I was 3, and she has been my biggest supporter all the years of my life. She died of colon cancer Aug. 9, 2009, a day shy of her 76th birthday. She suffered more in the last two months of her life than anyone should suffer. I suffered more in the last two months of her life than I ever want to suffer again.

My estranged brother came back to town to threaten my fiancé and steal $2000, jewelry and treasured family items from my parents. I had problems with my sister that are best left unsaid. I took care of mom, cleaning an open intestinal wound that was constantly draining pus and feces; managing her finances; keeping her clean with the help of a home aid while working full-time; managing hospice care; and assuring her she was loved and her life had been worthwhile. My father has dementia, and he needed care, too. By the time we got to Aug. 9, I was drained and wanted to crawl into a hole. But when the time came, it was just me, Mom and my fiancé in a room at the hospital. She’d been unresponsive for a few days, so there was nothing left to say. I told her to go, that we would be OK. I knew I wouldn’t be OK for a while, but I didn’t want her to stick around a second longer in the pain she was in. And, selfishly, I needed her to go. I’d been grieving her loss for two months, since the diagnosis, in addition to dealing with my siblings, and I wanted to move on with my life.

I loved her so much that the smell of her old nightgowns makes me cry, as does typing this now, but I am so grateful for those last few hours at her bedside, with just her, me and my amazing fiancé. It was like the universe knew I needed that.

3. Snickers bars. I love them so much.  Not fried, though. That’s gross.

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Frank from Just Another Writer (New York)

First off, I’m thankful for the usual. Family. Friends. My health, sanity (what’s left of it), etc…but more than anything, I’m thankful for humanity. Humanity in every sense of the word. The existence of mankind, that one undeniable link that we all have to each other. That thing that motivates us to contact people you don’t really know (yet), and tell them what you’re thankful for.

And thank YOU, booshy, for making me think about this. I do it far less often than I should.

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Daphne from Daphne and Donald

I’m thankful for my husband. I would not be the person I am today without him in my life. He pushes me to be the best I can be. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. He is my soul mate and my best friend. I am unhappy when he is not around. He loves all of me, even when I am neurotic or sad or when I fail. He picks me up. He is my sunshine.

I am also thankful for all of the blogs that I read and for all of my readers. I have had so much fun getting to know all of you in the past few months, and best of all, in getting to know myself so much better.

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Leese from Living Me 101

I’m thankful that I have a kitten that acts just like a puppy. Yes, I’m thankful that she does a fantastic job at catching mice but the fact that she acts like a puppy more than a kitten rocks. She’s light enough that I don’t mind having to hold her all night and because she has those cat reflexes, she’s able to jump out-of-the-way when either Tim or I roll over in bed ( she has to sleep between us) .. plus she’s black so I’m thankful that all her hair doesn’t show on my wardrobe!!

I’m thankful that Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy is an obnoxious black whole of love who thinks he’s just a boy without opposable thumbs. He really comes in handy when the whole freakin’ maternal thing sets off the biological clock on the womb that went out of business. Not so thankful that he has an insatiable need to rape my pillows or fight with the kitten at night for the primo spot on the bed but when I need that obnoxious black of love? HE’S RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE!!! OMG.. HE’S RIGHT THERE!!

I’m thankful that I wasn’t born in New Jersey. I don’t know why. I just am.

I’m thankful that Tim (mine.. not yours) really is an incredible guy. Well.. maybe not “incredible” but he’s the complete opposite of my schizo-psycho-bi polar ex husband. And I am deeply thankful for that. He’s a douchbag sometimes.. and sometimes I really, really, REALLY just want to throw something hard at his head but really, I never laughed so much in a relationship and never have to worry about the things I worried about before. I would, however, be MORE thankful for him if he didn’t shove his dirty underwear under the bed but y’know.. it’s a trade-off I guess!

I’m thankful for my crazy, wacky, family who I know I can count on for anything. Except my mom. I’m thankful that she’s still alive but I’m not thankful that I can count on her for being negative and pessimistic. She, of course, SWEARS that it’s only because I’m her daughter and she wants the best for me but I think she really wants me to move in with her so she’ll have company when watching her soap operas!

I’m thankful that my brother’s brain operation was a success and even though he still has his memory and whatever, just visiting him in the hospital and saying very loudly and very slowly “.. HELLO. DO YOU REMEMBER ME? I’M MARIA, YOUR COUSIN” and have him get that confused look in his face was priceless. My sister-in-law didn’t appreciate it though.. nor did she appreciate the rainbow-colored afro that I bought him to wear because they shaved his head but I’m thankful that they know me well enough to know that it was all in good fun and she’ll get over it.

I’m thankful that the word “fuck” has now been so indoctrinated in our vernacular that no one bats an eye anymore when I say it. Because, y’know, I say it a lot.

*** do you need more? ***

Anyway.. and LASTLY I promise.. I’m incredibly thankful for all the people I’ve come to know through my blog. I never really anticipated people reading it AND liking it enough to include me on their blogroll or even comment for Christ sakes..I’m also thankful that these people care enough to encourage when I need it.. make me laugh when I need it.. give me a virtual slap upside the head when I need it.. and all the things that my friends in “real” life do.

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Violet from Violet’s World (California)

I am a recently divorced single mom.  If you asked me what I saw myself doing five years ago, marriage and children, would not have been in the picture.  I was determined to make my career and education my number one and only priority before thinking of being in a relationship and having children.  My mother had 7 kids and separated 3 times.  I did not want to put any future children through the same crap I went through.

Today, I am single, raising an almost 3-year-old on one income.  I am also raising my youngest brother.  He is 16 years old.  I somehow made it out of my mother’s web of abuse and control.  My brother reached out for help and since I am able to help him, I am.  I have been in therapy for more than a year now.  I started therapy to help me with the destructive relationship I was in with my ex husband.  I am still in therapy because of all the mommy issues I have and because I somehow, keep finding myself in destructive relationships with men.

I am thankful for the many things I have been blessed with even though, most of the time, I feel as if I don’t deserve them.  I am thankful for my education, my dream career of helping others in need, the privilege of being a mother, the ability to afford my own two bedroom apartment, my almost-paid-off car, and every day that I wake up to see my son’s amazing eyes and beautiful smile.  My son is the biggest blessing that I did not know I wanted. Because of him, I have the strength to wake up each day and make it a good day.  Because of him, I have become a better person.  Because of him, I have hope for the future.

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Jenera from Jenera Healy (Idaho)

I am thankful for my kids.  There are so many women who can’t have kids or lose their kids to death that I am thankful for them even when they are both screaming for no reason and making my house look like it exploded.

I am thankful for my husband who has a great job and works his ass off to give us what we need (and sometimes want).  I am thankful for his understanding that I need to go back to school for me and that photography IS that important to me.

I am thankful for my handful of really great friends that are supportive whether they live a world away or just around the block.

Lastly, I am thankful that even though I am fat I am still alive and kicking.

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Casey from The Baker Bee (Florida)

I am thankful for my wonderful Hubby and for the 10 week old baby growing in my belly. Of course, by Thanksgiving, the tadpole will be 12 weeks… at which point I will be thankful to be through my first trimester!

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Mark from The Screenplay (Kansas)

I’m thankful for my family and friends. Especially thankful for each day I get to spend with my son who is very sick and has been hospitalized for 6 months. If I could give just one piece of advice to all your readers it would be, hug your kids and tell them you love them enough times so that they believe you. We don’t know how many more Holidays we have together as a family but we will make every day a holiday of some sort.

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Brooke from Shutterboo (Kentucky)

I’m thankful for many things: my health, my family, my husband, the fact that I didn’t get laid off and still have a job.  But the one thing I’m always thankful for (and make a point to say so as often as possible) are my friends.  Friends are the family you get to choose.  The people who hang out with you because they want to, not because their related to you.  The people who keep coming ’round even after you got drunk and possibly ran around the house naked.  The people who still look you in the eye even though they’ve seen you without your makeup.  The people…  you get the picture.  I love my friends and I would be a big ball of gobbledygoo without them.  I’ve got some of the best pals in the world – many of which have put with me for years I can no longer count on two hands.  They make me laugh, they make me cry, they dance with me, they watch sappy movies with me, they make fun of me, they meet me out for dinner… love them.  I never take my friends for granted – because I might want to borrow Melanie’s sexy momma shoes one day.

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Franzi from Life Starts Now (Germany)

On Thanksgiving, many say they are thankful for their family and loved ones, the friends in their lives. I am too. and at the same time I shamefully admit that I am often enough bickering with my sister, arguing with my mom, and generally annoyed at “stuff” they did. I don’t call my friends as often as I feel like I should. Sometimes I feel like I am living my live and they live theirs and we once were connected but somehow time took its toll. 

Despite having trouble showing my thankfulness, I still am glad that they all are in my life.

My life and that of my family has had its ups and downs. personal loss and challenges, opportunities and turns of history crossed our paths. But it was my time in Africa that made me realize how important it is to have a family and friends. They will be there for you, support you when times are rough, be happy with you and share your sorrow.

Money, wealth, fame and titles all only go skin deep. We all should be reminded of that every once in a while and be thankful of the people we have in our lives. Honest thankfulness!

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Laura from Cameron Crazy (Illinois)

This year I am thankful for many things, but the two things I am most thankful for are my husband and son. My entire life revolves around them. Everything I currently do is all for them. All of the cleaning, all of the cooking, all of the documenting our lives via scrapbooks and my blog is for them. Without them in my life, I would be empty.

I am endlessly thankful for my husband who goes to work every day and provides this life I love so very much. Being able to stay at home with Cameron is something I never pictured myself doing, and yet here I am having the time of my life (most days). Cameron is the most wonderful little person I ever met. It is so fun to watch him grow and learn new things. I feel so blessed to be his mother.

I am also thankful for our family. We would have never survived this year without their help and support. We owe them more than we will ever be able to repay, both emotionally and financially. I wish everyone was as blessed as we are, surrounded by such a loving family.

And that is what I am thankful for.

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LB from Wait, She Said What? (New England)

You want to know what I’m thankful for? YOUR BLOG! How’s that? I’m serious. I read your blog every single time you post which amazingly is every single day! As soon as I see it in my little update list I basically always read yours first just because I know it will be a great read. Something about your writing voice makes even the most basic line funny. That’s a talent! Your blog is also one of the few that I (somewhat) consistently leave a comment on. Basically it’s you and The Bloggess. So THAT should tell you something!

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Bethany from WW College Girl

Why I’m thankful!

I’m thankful for my family.  My mom is one of my best friends.  I can always count on my brother and sister-in-law for being there for me.  

My niece, she is the most perfect little girl in the world.  Even on the worst day, I can hop on Skype and see her cute little face and she will cheer me right up!

School.  I am finally halfway finished with getting my Bachelors.  It takes up most of my time, but I love it, and really I should considering I am an idiot and going to law school.

My car.  It’s completely paid for, and I love it!

My couch.  It has seen me through some loooong nights.  It is so comfy.

I’m thankful that I don’t have a “normal” family.  How boring would that be?!  My family has drama, fights, and at the end of the day we all love each other.

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Liz from Liz Biz (Ireland)

Let’s see … reasons to be thankful:

• there a bottles of prosecco that are waiting for me to drink them
• chocolate
• being healthy
• having family and friends who love me … and I adore them
• being 50 and relatively sane
• that my Mum and Dad and all my siblings are still alive
• my mad dog Coco makes me smile all the time
• that I live in Ireland … specifically in Ballinamore which is a small town with great people and beautiful landscape and lakes
• that I don’t live in a country that treats women like property and gives them no legal rights
• that we have the technology to write blogs
• that i realised I’m the one with the power to choose how I react to everything in my life
• that the recession happened and nearly killed my consultancy and sent me into genteel poverty … otherwise I wouldn’t have had the time to build Life Dreaming and SKIL2 and do heaps of charity and pro bono work
• that we’re all different
• that i still choose to stay alive and get out of bed in the morning

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Maureen from A chronicle of my world travels (New Mexico)

You know, sometimes, life can get me down. I look at other people’s lives, and I won’t lie, sometimes I get a little jealous.  I start feeling all grumpy and bad about myself thinking I chose the wrong path, or if I could just have done that “one thing” differently everything would be better.  But then I get to thinking, okay, maybe it could have been different, but so what?  I am definitely a believer in fate,and I truly do think that things happen for a reason.  And in all honesty, my life is actually pretty darn awesome. 

I have a great job.  Sure, there are days when I sit in my cubicle and think this is the absolute most boring thing I could be doing with my time right now, but on the other hand, I am so lucky to have it.  There are so many people without jobs or with crappy dead-end jobs for so many different reasons.  But here I am, fresh out of school with an advanced degree landing a job that doesn’t require me to stock shelves, or clean toilets, or ask people if they want fries with that.  Not only do I get to run around in the woods of beautiful New Mexico for half the year, I also get hooked up with some pretty neat stuff.  In the past year and a half I’ve been at my job, I’ve been sent to numerous places around the state and the country for trainings and meetings where I was able to experience different places and meet a lot of new people while learning something new about science and my career.  I’ve been really fortunate that I’ve been able to do this because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to travel the way I do.  I am also really thankful for my job because I was recently given a promotion.  This came as a bit of a shock to me, as in, how in the world did I ever manage to pull THAT off, but I did somehow, and I am grateful for that.

I have a fantastic boyfriend.  For a long time (aka my whole life) I didn’t have one at all.  But actually, now that I look back on it, I’m thankful that I didn’t.  I’m glad I got to experience life on my own before there was someone else in it.  I think it has not only made me a better girlfriend but also gave me a better idea of what I want in a relationship and in life.  Yeah, he sometimes does things to get on my nerves and sometimes he nags me about my driving or the fact that I didn’t wash my hands after going out in the world and touching things with germs on them.  But he only does those things because he cares and doesn’t want to see me get hurt or sick.  He’s helpful and considerate and so happy to have me in his life.  I feel the same way.

I have a wonderful family.  Now that I moved across the country, I don’t see them all that much anymore.  But I usually hear from at least one family member through a weekly phone call.  I’m really looking forward to seeing them all over Christmas, especially my extended family, who I was lucky to be able to spend all major holidays and birthdays and sometimes just random days when I was growing up.  I have a pretty small extended family all together, but we are all very close and enjoy spending time together. 

And that’s about it.  I hope it isn’t too long.

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Mary from Unmitigated – life without filters

When I taught, we made students write a piece about Thanksgiving that was a little unconventional. They had to think of three things they were thankful for, but each had to start with the phrase, “I don’t usually say I am thankful for…” We wanted them to really think about it. I decided to apply this to Jessica’s request on Booshy that we share what we are thankful for.

I don’t usually say I’m thankful for being able to cook, but I am. Cooking has never been high on my list of things I want to do, but I am gaining an appreciation for it, the more I practice. I can’t believe how much money it saves and weight-gain it prevents!

I don’t usually say I’m thankful for back pain, but I am. Of all the things that could go wrong, all the terrible tragedies in the world, if back pain is the worst burden I have to carry, I’ll take it.

I don’t usually say I’m thankful for my blog buddies, but I am. How else would I have gotten to meet Jessica, half my age and hundreds of miles away?

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Mindy from The Suburban Life

I am thankful that I have love and can recognize being loved.  I am thankful that my family is happy and healthy and I am especially thankful that we all have appreciation for the hand that we have been dealt.  I am thankful that I have two children with personalities capable of keeping me on my toes while reiterating the value of family.  I am thankful that I have a husband and partner in life who values the same thing.  I. Am. Thankful.

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Theresa from The Professional Mother

There are some things (that really aren’t things at all) that I am so grateful for that when I contemplate their absence, a lump of tears forms in my throat and a weight of unbelievable fear of loss constricts my chest.  I have no greater reason for thanks than the fact that I have been blessed with love, including that of my outrageously funny husband, my three truly adorable (and I’m not exaggerating) children, my parents and siblings, my friends, my job, our home, our health, our safety (and the men and women who risk their lives to secure it), and our joy.  These are Heaven-sent and fill my life.  However, there are a multitude of seemingly inconsequential things that fill the crannies of my days, and therefore prove that nothing is inconsequential, and I am therefore thankful for these as well:

• my own pillow
• 400-count sheets
• a good song on the radio
• a book’s happy ending
• panties that don’t wedge
• finding money in my pocket
• the perfect pair of jeans
• waking up and realizing I have at least one more hour of sleep
• a good hair day
• capturing unabashed happiness on film
• saying goodbye
• catching up with good friends
• a cup of coffee and a slice of dessert
• anyone who sends me flowers
• curling up in a comfortable blanket
• hugs that last too long
• people who have actually already done the work out videos that I bought and are evidence that I could look good too if I would actually do the program (consequently, I also secretly hate these people)
• feeling confident simply based on the clothes I’m wearing
• scratching an itch
• baby feet
• anyone who remembers my birthday
• people who can’t remember how old I am on my birthday
• eating an outstanding meal
• long talks with my sisters
• knowing that anything is possible
• friends who will do anything to help me out
• the saints who coach my kids’ sports teams (beyond heroic!)
• dentists (a love/hate relationship)
• hangover remedies
• the pop of excitement I feel immediately following the pop of a champagne bottle
• a pen that writes well
• library books and school books
• teeny tiny toilets that are made for kids
• shoes
• the Postal Service
• tampons (Yes, really. And all of you should be grateful too.)
• ocean waves
• Blogs that allow me to keep up with my friends and make new friends
• and each person who actually took the time to read this. I am grateful for you too.

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Sam from Off-Black (New Zealand)

-I’m thankful that I am alive (kinda important that one)

-I’m thankful I wasn’t killed in a gnarly Evel Knievel style car crash in the 1990’s

-I’m thankful that I have excellent people for friends and family

-I’m thankful that I found a beautiful and intelligent woman willing to put up with all my BS and marry me.

-I’m thankful that she has provided me with a beautiful and incredibly cool daughter that I am amazed I can call my own.

-I am thankful for the surgical procedure that was invented in the 1940’s that means my daughter got to live for longer than a few days after birth.

-I’m thankful that fatherhood has turned out to be far easier and more rewarding than I could have imagined.

-I’m thankful I live in New Zealand, and for the identity that nationality provides me, plus its nice and pretty. My only gripe is that we’re annoyingly far away from everyone else though. Makes travel expensive and planning intensive.

-I’m thankful I live in a liberal western democracy, which is a pretty sweet ride compared to a lot of other places in the world.

-I’m thankful that I have hot and cold running water when I need it, don’t have to worry about food, don’t have to worry about shelter, don’t have to be a refugee from anything.

-I’m thankful my parents raised me to recognise what was really important and what wasn’t worth worrying about.

-I’m thankful my parents encouraged me to read books and ask questions and find out about things for my self.

-I’m thankful that I play sports and have hobbies and stuff that means I don’t spend all my free time worrying about whats on TV. Or watching TV. Or talking about what was watched on TV last night.

-I’m thankful I have a job that keeps a roof over my head and pays for my weekends and holidays.

-Im thankful that I have skills and am not completely useless in a practical sense

-I’m thankful that I have pretty good hand/eye coordination, exceptional distance vision, and excellent night vision

-I’m thankful that even though I am 33 and an asthmatic, my latest lung function test says I have the lungs of a 19-year-old

-I’m thankful that I enjoy sports

-I’m thankful that I have a demonstrated ability to stay calm and pragmatic in times of crisis or danger (I used to work in an occasionally risky job), and do what needs to be done.

-I’m thankful for my memory, since it is usually pretty sharp

-I’m thankful for music.

-I’m thankful that Pearl Jam decided to tour here after an 11 year absence and I am going to see them at the end of the week

-I’m thankful I have never had to attend the funeral of an inner circle close friend. I still have all of the crew I started with. and those who have joined as time goes by

-I’m thankful for the entertaining native birds that live in my backyard

-I’m thankful for the view of the hills and harbour from my lounge.

-I’m thankful for spectacular sunsets, and for the interesting weather you sometimes get as a consequence of living on an island in a big ocean

-I’m thankful that nowhere in New Zealand are you more than 80 miles from the sea.

-I’m thankful for the internet and the blogosphere for providing the means to do things like this and interact with people all over the world.

-I’m thankful for all the things I have that others don’t

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Paula from Queen of the Dogs (Florida)

1.  I’m thankful for my kid.  (duh)  She’s what keeps me going.  Whats kept me going when I couldnt keep going on my own in the past.  She was the reason I fought the dark evil in my mind.  I know you’ve heard this before from every mother out there, but I’m one lucky mother.  Good kid, very little hassle.  I like that.  And its a good thing, cause if she was a pain in the ass growing up I’d have dropped her ass off at the local foster kids home and been done with it.  Wow, that was harsh, but probably true.  Good thing she was good huh?

2. I’m thankful for my family.  Well, most of the time.  Actually they’re good peeps and I love them all.  In fact I’d kill for anyone of them.  All I know is if they weren’t around a couple of times when Lauren (my kid) was younger we’d have been on the street.  They saved my ass more than once.  For that I owe them all sponge baths and spoon feedings if they should end up in the nursing home before me.  YES, I’ve already promised my parents I would take care of them till the end.  I’m nice like that and DON’T forget when nice things have been done for me.

3. I’m thankful for my dogs.  What can I say??  There is NOTHING like coming home from a shitty day at work, wanting to stab someone, anyone in the eye and seeing their cute faces with tails a waggin.  NEVER fails.  The tails are always waggin and they love me no matter what.  

4.  I’m thankful for South Florida drivers that don’t run my ass over on a daily basis because they actually LOOKED where they were going and paid attention to me.  I ride a Vespa 150cc scooter to work everyday and some days I’m very afraid.  

5. I’m thankful for my kid.  Yeah, I know I already said I was thankful for her, but this is MY thankful stuff and I AM Thankful for her even more than I said before.   I’m thankful she is smart, brave, beautiful (I’d love her if she was ugly, but she aint so I don’t have to worry about that) and grew up to be a fine young woman.   I’m thankful she chose to admit to me that college was just not right for her and the Military probably was.  I’m thankful that she sticks up for me and has loved me no matter what since she was a baby.  She was never embarrassed by me even in front of her friends.  She taught the other kids that its ok to “like” and “love” your parent at home and in public even if it’s not cool.  You all should be so lucky.  Just sayin.  

6. I’m thankful for my friends.  In person and the on the net.  Good peeps that love me (most of them do) and put up with my wackiness.  Thank you.  I heart you all too.

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Em from Wide Open Squint

I’m thankful …

For the roof over my head,
For the blankets on my bed.

For the boy who wakes me up,
And puts coffee in my cup.

For the pup who pees on his own leg,
And for the fact he rarely begs.

For my family I neglected for 10 stupid years,
I’m so glad they’re in my life despite the many tears.

For my friends I have had since nursery school,
For still being tight although they realize I’m not cool.

For the weeds growing in my yard,
Which remind me when I’m not working hard.

For all the changes in my life I’ve made,
That never would the pain I trade.

For future blessings I know will be,
A source of joy or pain for me.

For knowing I’m loved both far & near,
And allowing me access to those so dear.

For this year’s feast which will not be,
Gross cranberry sauce & dry turkey!

Gobble Gobble!

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Amy from Extraordinarily Ordinary

 

1.  My Mr. =  He drives me insane, it’s true.  But he does the little things that make him mine.  Like when he comes out with something sweetly unexpected.  Oh he does something so little and goofy that makes me laugh like nothing else.  He makes up songs about our pets and sings them to me.  I’ve never known love and happiness like I have with him.  He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.

 

2. My animals – Morgan, Wilma, Romeo, Sophie and Henry – They bring me unmatched joy and humor.  I can’t imagine life without them.  God’s only mistake was making our pets’ lifespans shorter than ours.

 

3.  My family – Their love and support is unfailing.

 

4.  My job – I hate it, but I have it.  So many don’t.  I ache for those people and make me value what I have in my job.  My suckiest day still earns me a paycheck. 

 

5.  My faith – Kind of weird to be thankful for something I alone am in control of whether I possess it or not, but there have been some real tests of faith the last few years and with God in control I’ve always known that somehow, even in the darkest of times that things would be “ok”.  I’m so very thankful for my faith and to God for his enduring mercy and steadfastness.  God is good. 

 

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Jaime from Crazy in the Making

 

I am thankful for my amazing family. I have a beautiful smunny (smart
and funny) daughter, cuddly loving son, and a wonderful understanding
husband.

Pending the induction on Tuesday/Wednesday, my sister will have a
brand new son in time for thanksgiving. And I am thankful to be
allowed to be part of bringing him into the world.

I am thankful that in these trying times I have a job to complain
about. Maybe if I say that enough I will start to believe it.

And finally I am thankful to have bloggy friends that I can read about
what is going on in their lives to get me out of my head and remind me
of all the other things that should be on my thankful list.

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Anne from to the stars through difficulty

 

I am thankful for hope. It sustains me – and all of us – when times are tough, or maybe when times have only been tough. Whether it manifests itself as a dream of “tomorrow” or as an iron-will to make a change for the better, hope is the ultimate motivator and the ultimate manifestation of the optimistic philosophy that in the end, when all is said and done – the glass will at least be marginally more full than it is empty. The world abounds with badness in all shapes and forms. Sometimes there is no good visible. The assertion that it exists, even when invisible, is hope. I am thankful for hope.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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Angelia from You Think You Can Blog (Texas)

 

I am thankful for Jason, Sydney, my Mom, and my sister. (random order, the listing does not indicate more love for one or the other-RANDOM people!)

I am thankful for cold nights, and a warm comforter. (dang thyroid I am HOT all the time-  my room is a morgue in winter – serious!)

I am thankful for sunsets. (I’d be thankful for sunrises too but I rarely see those- zzzzz)

I am thankful for children, especially babies and puppies, so I can go AWWWW. (my day is not complete without an Awww- peedee’s page is good for that)

I am thankful for you, and the laughter you bring to my heart. You have a way of saying stuff that just makes me chort (is a word), and see stuff a whole different way. (wow)

I am definitely thankful for the blogging community and the chance to meet so many interesting, unique folks that love to write and connect like me.

SO THANK YOU! Thanks to ALL of you, in there (when you don’t take your meds). Thank you to whoever is reading this right now. Babs? Jessica? Booshy?

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Peggy from Serendipity Smiles (New Hampshire)

I am thankful for:

The love of my life, Richard. 

Edgar, the Wonder Dog

Jessica
Christina
Richie
Kelly
Katie
Christopher
Olivia
Jon
Dave
Noel

Leftover turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce

God…without Him, the impossible remains impossible

My health

straight teeth

the wisdom of yoga

the power of Thai Kickboxing

Winnie-the-Pooh

and Tigger, too

Birthdays

Books

and Blogs

White Sandy Beaches

hot baths and deep tissue massages

Manicures and pedicures

Warm Apple Pie with ice cream

My PARENTS

Four brothers

Two sisters

Assorted nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles

My husband’s ex family in-law

My drama free remarried life

My cancer free body

My interest free credit card

My freedom

Mammograms and Early Detection

On this Thanksgiving, not only do I celebrate all that I’m thankful for, but I celebrate my life.  Today, I am forty-six.  Today, I celebrate another birthday thanks to EARLY DETECTION.   Happy Birthday To Me!!

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Bev from Confuzzledom (Germany)

What I am thankful for…

 

1) My job (maybe I should whisper that one considering I’m still in the probation period until the end of February? Wouldn’t want Fate getting any ideas…)

 

2) That my boyfriend’s family actually seem to like me.

 

3) That my family actually like my boyfriend (not so impressed by the constant requests to make my Grandma a Great Grandma though).

4) That my boyfriend is actually still around after 5 and a half looong years. Admittedly we don’t actually live together or anything, but at least we’re in the same country now. Baby steps.

5) Chocolate. I am very, very thankful that there is chocolate in the world. And cake. And cookies. Not that I’m addicted or anything. (And I swear I’m not fat, although I probably should be…)

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Shannon from Loved You More

In no particular order
 
I am thankful for my wonderful, sweet daughter.  I should say her first. Her goofy ass keeps me going. I am thankful for uniformed men, like cops, they are beautiful to look at.  Yoga, since I don’t get any these days. (I think that was a double negative there.) Champagne.  My support system of friends, without them I wouldn’t have made it very far through the Bill thing.  (I suddenly feel like I’m accepting an EMMY) Our soldiers who fight for our freedom everyday and their families.(This is getting random) The beauty of the mountains and the good sense to appreciate them every time I see them.  (I’m still thinking of my lack of sex.) To all my blog friends who have been awesome support, commenting and reading. 

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The World According to Law Girl (Ohio)

This year has been rough on most of us – jobs lost, living on unemployment, trying to make ends meet.  But the beauty of this year is that you can’t possibly question what you have to be thankful for.  This recession has taught us to go back to the simpler things in life.  So, here is what I’m thankful for:

1.  I have more food in my fridge and 2 freezers than I know what to do with. 
2.  My pantry is full.
3.  My car runs and is safe for me to use.  On top of that, I love that car.
4.  I have the love of the most wonderful man I’ve ever known.
5.  I have lots of books to read.
6.  I can see beautifully since my eye surgery.
7.  I am learning to appreciate my body and use it as it was intended.
8.  I am thankful that I have all of my limbs and they all work.
9.  I am pretty darn happy with my life.

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Kind of anonymous? - Thankfulness by: drabhlas

1.  I am not dead.

2.  I have no debilitating, fatal, or horrifically embarrassing diseases that I know of.

3.  I have never spontaneously combusted.

4.  John Travolta as Edna Turnblad.  Have seen Hairspray at least forty-something times and that bastard still makes me giggle like I’m high as an entire music festival in a rocketship. 

5.  That WHOLE MOVIE, actually.  Is fucking.  Awesome.

6.  Musicals in general.

7.  Movies in general, except horror movies which make me doubt the continuing nature of Number One.

8.  Singing in the car.

9.  My dog, playing with my dog, and also when I dance like I’m a palsied old ex-krumpmaster meth fiend with Parkinson’s and my dog jumps on my face and pretends to bite my arm and tries to get all krumped out with me.

10.  When a horse bites my coat and shakes my arm around.

11.  Sucralose.

12.  My favorite comic strips: Calvin & Hobbes, Bloom County, Wondermark, Dr. McNinja, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

13.  Christopher Moore.

14.  Walter Moers.

15.  Nailing every single word of rap song.

16.  Memorizing a foreign word or phrase.

17.  Despite the fact that almost no one in our family really likes or has anything in common with anyone else, we are all there for each other.

18.  Almost getting seriously injured, but then not.

19.  Food that is delicious.

20.  People that get you.

21.  People that give compliments and say how important you are to them.

22.  Eddie Izzard.

23.  Modern hygiene.

24.  Of all the people I’ve met in my life, very few were unkind.  The vast majority of people I’ve met were decent, nice people, even if I didn’t have anything in common with them.

25.  The reason most news is bad is that goodness is so common we often find it boring.  Bad things are exotic.

26.  Animals, history, philosophy, danger, evil, good, science, religion, and everything else that makes life interesting.

27.  The natural laws that allow the world to function.

28.  Color.

29.  Music.

30.  Creativity.

31.  Airplanes.

32.  Vaccines.

33.  Some idiot several thousand years ago decided to ride a horse.

34.  Amusement parks.

35.  Heat.

36.  Every time I ever had car trouble, someone stopped to help me.

37.  Ibuprofen.

38.  I have never seen anything die.

39.  I like my job.

40.  All the people who made it possible for me to be where I am.

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I’m Not Rosie/submom from Secret Inner Life

Every Thanksgiving since 2002, I know what to be thankful for…

I had deep vein thrombosis when I was five months pregnant with my youngest. I limped for two weeks without realizing that, Hey, it is more than a muscle strain since it is not getting any better after so many days. Oh, and look! Your left leg is swollen and purple and you cry when you move. Is that normal? Oh, by the way, you are pregnant. Perhaps you should go have a doctor check it out just in case? You dumbass!?!

…

When I did see my Obgyn for my regular monthly check-up, one look, and she sent me to the emergency room. When there, I was whisked away to the ICU and promptly had an umbrella filter inserted to prevent any clog from going into my lungs. X-ray was involved. Blood thinner medications. Lovenox shots. I cried every day.

“What an idiot?! Now I am endangering my baby by being such an idiot!” I could not have been more upset at myself.

We were so relieved and grateful when he was born. Perfectly healthy. A beautiful baby boy.

He is the child that keeps me on my toes.

He is the child that asked me, “Is it hard to take care of us?”

He is the child that sidled up to me while I was doing the dishes, patted my hand, and asked, “Did YOU yourself have any dinner yet?” while his father and older brother were wrestling on the floor.

He is the child that is sensitive enough to suggest, “Don’t call me Mr. Monk!”

He is the child that dances the interpretive dance while the Casio plays Canon in D.

He is the child that speaks with a British accent after watching too many episodes of Charlie and Lola and Kipper.

He is the child that wears a fedora and tips his head at the ladies.

He is the child that is already really worried about what he is going to be when he grows up.

He is the child with an old, old soul.

He is the child that says, “I am different. Deal with it!”

He is the child that makes me question myself all the time whether I am good enough as a person.

He is the child that makes me wonder whether all the love you could give is still not enough to love your children with.

He turned 7 today.

Happy Birthday, G.K.!

*************************

Dusty at mistallyou

cause i owed the apology. I take EVERYTHING the wrong way (a lot of things)

but the dstupid things i say seem to be a lot closer to insults than all the funny posts you guys send out.

Hopefully some of you laugh at my tantrums. I’m hoping that’s why you seem so tolerant.

I’m grateful for your tloerance

And thank you again. I’m just hanging out short term until I get a chance to break tree’s nose.

But then he does kind things. Welcomes a neighbor after I spewed

angry comments all over his house.

I’m thankful for Trees stories and his kindness

I’m thankful for pretty much everyone with a female looking avatar. Cause I’m always going off about little bullshit things I never got over. It happens when i read words in posts that she always used to use (and, the , in, or )

Thankful that i realize it’s the past. This far down the road the problems are me and my unhealthy habits of revisiting.

Thankful for (right now at least) revisiting the good things

I’m thankful for all you folks being honest when you say “dude reality is behind you, you’re staring at the side of a building”

Thankful that i saw good today. Cause i’m causing other calm seas to be turbulent. Those tickets called disturbing the peace. I thankful you haven’t handed all those out just yet. (I think i saw somewhere 13 or 19 counts of somethin or another, might have all been unauthorized travel)

Do you remember the comments screaming out some backwards meaning of topics during discussions at TIBU.

I miss that place (usually when I say you remind me of someone, I mean a writer at that site)

I thankful that my stresses are just those (it’s always sumthin) type crap cause I live in the land of Good N Plenty.

Costco selling movie theater sized boxes of Mike and Ike’s

Most of all I’m thankful for family and friends. I love them, even when I say mean things, even when my 10 year old daughter (who I promised could have soul control of the menu for tomorrow) sent me to the store. I’m not going to say but i was definitely not buying any of the normals.  The check out girls expression was confusion with a dash of disgust, turned to smile when she saw it was me “should have known, only you dustin, can’t believe you were raised Mormon”

as she turns away I catch a glimpse of the huge grin she tried to hold in til she turned away.

she knows I can’t stand being called dustin

 Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night

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And I (I being Jessica, aka booshy) am thankful for everyone who participated and for everyone who took the time to read these lists that were put together from people literally all over the globe.

That’s way more than just *kind of* awesome.

It’s incredible.

And you all have been indoctrinated and are now part of the tradition.

Don’t you feel special?

(the correct answer is yes)

i’ll be in the back, next to the cookies.

I had this imaginary conversation in my head yesterday because…well…it’s exactly what would happen if anyone were ever dumb enough to suggest that I become a “flight attendant.”  I don’t think  I’d make it past the training period and I’d probably weigh about a million pounds…cause I’d live off those awesome Biscoff cookies that come in the red and white packaging.

[my trainer, Jackie, and me, before anyone else is on the plane]

Me: Umm…what the hell is this for?

Jackie: That’s pretty much what will save your life if we run into any in-flight problems.

Me: A phone? Who the hell am I going to call? Back-up? A giant albatross to come and whisk me away?

Jackie: The police.

Me: You’re joking, right? I mean, don’t “the police” ride on the plane, anyway? Shouldn’t that be enough?

Jackie: Well….one sometimes isn’t enough…

Me: Well…..I’ll be using my phone-a-friend to call another plane so I can get the hell off.

Jackie: You can’t change planes in the air.

Me: If you can fill a plane with gas in the middle of the air, you can find a way to transport a person. Just sayin.

[enter pilots]

Jackie: Good morning, Captain and First Captain!

Me: Can you do me a favor, Captains, and try not to hit any turbulence? See, thing is, I don’t *do* turbulence and it’d be totally awesome of you if could get us from Point A to Point B without any.

Captain: Well, we don’t *do* special requests. Jackie, we’ll be in here – locked away…from her.

Jackie, looking back at me: I’ve decided you aren’t allowed to use the phone.  People are boarding, go greet them.

Me: Greet them? Why? And shouldn’t you be calling them “passengers?” Besides, no one wants to talk when they get on a plane. They want to be left alone. Trust me.

Random, Annoying Happy Dude: Hi! Hi! I love this plane! The air’s so awesome. You’re so awesome! Hi!

Jackie: So, how do you explain that?

Me: He doesn’t count. That isn’t happy. That’s a problem.

Jackie: Well, he’s in your section of the plane. Have fun.

[exit Jackie to leave me to my own devices]

Me, giving the “Safety” Talk: Now, we all know this is probably the most annoying part, except maybe if you’re sitting next to a smelly stranger or one who doesn’t know how to share arm rests. Then, well, we’ve got a long ass flight and it sucks to be you.

Anyway, if you’ve never been in a plane before, welcome to the tin can where you will freeze your ass off if you didn’t bring a blanket and you also cannot get up to pee whenever you feel like it. If the little sign that looks like two rectangular worms fighting is illuminated, keep your ass plastered to the seat and hold it.

If for some reason we have to make a water landing or any other kind of landing that is not on a traditional tarmac, do not come find me. At that point, we are no longer in a *normal* situation and I will not be performing any kind of *normal* job function. If you need a floatation device, it’s under your ass and if we lose cabin pressure, something that will resemble one of those practical joke snakes popping out of a can will fly at your head. Instead of beating it away with your tray table, put the little strappy part over your head and breathe into the yellow, plastic cup. It’s better that way. Trust me.

If you don’t speak English, there’s a little picture book in the seat pocket in front of you with directions. And if you don’t speak Spanish, German, French, Chinese, Japanese, Mandarin or Hindi, look at the pictures. If the pictures don’t help, then nothing I say will, either.

Also, do not ask me how much longer we have, where we are on the planet based on the terrain or for an extra cookie. The answers are I don’t have a fucking clue, I’m a flight attendant, not a clock, it looks like a unicorn chasing a dragon and we’re on a budget so your ass will just have to be hungry.

And, in closing, I have a helpful method for everyone who hates turbulence…raise your hand if you hate turbulence (I raise my hand).  If we begin to experience this unpleasant sensation where it feels like the plane might just shake itself apart, do this: Shut your eyes, stick your head between your legs, squeeze the person’s arm next to you until you draw blood and dammit, start praying to your Jesus, whoever the hell he is. Cause at that point, he’s the only one who’ll be able to help…unless you happen to be friends with a magical, teleporting fairy. Then, well, we need to talk. I’ll be in the back, next to the cookies.

snippets of conversation from thanksgiving #1

Before I begin the chaos that is 6 people vying for the same tiny soap box, here are a few pictures from the weekend…Thanksgiving #1

What's important here? The turkey. It's the only thing *kind of* in focus. Ummm thanks, mom.

Troy's drink. Troy who is 13. It's tea. Swear. I wouldn't lie in front of the Pilgrim.

Now…the conversations…they’re always disjointed and very confusing. You’re welcome.

(cue me almost dropping a massive, opened can of yams all over the floor)

Mom: You are such a klutz, Jessica. Things never change…

Me: What?! I’m not clumsy.

Tim: You mean, she’s always been this uncoordinated?

Mom: Everywhere except the basketball court…

*****************

(for some reason, my 3 brothers think that “mom” is theirs…and apparently I no longer count in the sibling category, so they’ll be all, “MY MOM said…”)

Troy: My mom keeps having to have Come and Find Jesus meetings with me.

(he meant to say “come to Jesus” meetings)

Tim: Well, I mean, wow. Have you found him yet? Cause it seems like you’ve been having a lot of those meetings lately…

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Me: So, do you guys still play the trivia?

Jeff, Mom, Mason and Troy: THE what?!

Me, perplexed: The trivia?…Do you still go and play?

Tim, laughing hysterically: THE trivia? Who are you? Yoda?

(what the hell is wrong with saying THE trivia?)

*****************

(cue heated basketball competition on the Wii. I was totally winning.)

Me: I am AWESOME. And I’ve never even played this before.

Mom: You aren’t awesome. You’re yelling “MISS IT!” every time someone tries to shoot the basketball. It’s no wonder you’re winning…

Me: That’s not allowed?

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(I’ve been trying to explain to Tim that it’s not that I’m pissy in the morning…I don’t talk to him because I’m trying to avoid a stupid fight over who forgot to pull out my favorite warm, fuzzy socks or who looked at me funny for 2.3 seconds longer than they should have.)

Me: Mom! Tell Tim we never talked in the morning.

Mom: We didn’t talk in the morning.

Me: No, I mean…that when we woke up we didn’t talk so we didn’t fight.

Mom: We didn’t talk so we didn’t fight…

Me: You’re totally not helping.

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Y’all – Tim and I are for serious probably somewhere over the East Coast – right. this. second. – so if you’re anywhere between Georgia and New York – wave! You can probably see our asses if you squint really hard.

We’re on the way to Thanksgiving #2 AND Turkey Trot #2.

Oh, yes. We found one. And we’re running it.

They give away pottery as prizes if you win.

Not that I plan on winning, but you know how much I love pottery.

We really just have to redeem ourselves.

I’ll shit skittles if we fuck it up and go the wrong direction twice in 7 days.

i’m not crazy because…

This is part one of avoiding the nut house…because no one thought to give me a prescription for any kind of anti-anxiety medication. Apparently that’s too dangerous or something. I’m not even sure what part two is yet.  It’s probably dressing myself.  That’d be a huge win for the husband cause I think he’s pretty much tired of picking out my clothes and putting bright pink sticky notes on them all, “This goes over your HEAD and NOT over your ASS.” Turtlenecks can be so confusing sometimes…damn.

But, I’m convinced I’m not crazy because…

I don’t have an imaginary friend who I constantly seek for advice about things like shampoo flavors and Tuesday meal selections (Hi, Fred! I know – they’ll never understand).

I usually know the difference between a fork and a spoon and when it is appropriate to use each. Cake is eaten with a spoon and sporks are dangerous. Duh.

The stuffed animals actually don’t move by themselves. According to the husband, I move them (though I’d think I’d remember setting up a circle of stuffed animals around a miniature campfire. The hell, Fred?)

I do not repeat the same word over and over…except fluffernutter exactly 19 times before I pee and 3 times after I see a butterfly…but that’s only because fluffernutter is probably the most awesome word that isn’t in the dictionary. Except for booshy and I’m still pushing for that one…

I do not refer to Jessica in the third person.

I do not collect random objects and hide them between the couch cushions and behind the refrigerator in that tiny, little nook.  I’ve found that the walls in the garage and bedroom hold a shitload more.

I’ve stopped sitting on tennis balls, waiting for them to hatch.  I’ve learned that to get anywhere with this activity, it will require a trip to the microwave for exactly 5.42 minutes followed by 75 seconds in the freezer.

I don’t think I’m afraid of my shadow…today.

I’ve stopped responding to bird calls with a kazoo. It’s the harmonica coupled with the accordion that works. Every time.

I’ve accepted that it is not possible to teleport via closet. Yet.

I finally got rid of the unicorn in the bathroom. He stays in the spare closet now – the one with my wedding dress. I convinced him it was another unicorn since it had sparkles on it. He’s totally retarded that way.

Snow actually isn’t soap flakes that will result in an awesome outdoor bubble bath. It is frozen fairy pee.  And no one swims in fairy pee.

it’s *almost* bordering on my earlier threat to quit.

Reasons YOU need to get your ass in gear and send your thankfulness to me.

NOW.

(dearbooshy at hotmail dot com)

1. The deadline is Tuesday…I think we’ve procrastinated enough.

2. You probably need to remind yourself why you married him…or her.

3. It’s like free advertising…just without the super-massive-fifty-million-views-exposure…but we’re *almost* there (that just made me laugh…a sardonic, never-in-your-lifetime-keep-dreaming laugh)

4. There isn’t a test at the end…so think of it like major extra credit…or something…with chocolate.

5. A day of thankfulness would be really depressing without any well, thankfulness.  Which is completely circular and the result of such a catastrophe would probably send me on a downward spiral into crazyville, and I know you don’t want that on your conscience.

6. Babs just told me to shut the hell up all, “Don’t be a brat. You can’t force anyone to DO anything.” I simply reminded her that the reason she didn’t run off, “sayonara, asshole” was because of my super-stealth plan called Moxie.  Follow the logic? No? Let me help: you don’t want to be the recipient of my super-stealth plan.

7. It’s the right thing to do. 

8. You’ll need an escape for when you’ve reached the in-law/child/random uncle exposure maximum all, “I need to go meditate and remind myself why I didn’t just strangle you.”

9. It will probably make your bloggy-friends realize they need to stop being all whiny and mopey…or at least give them one day of, “Wow! I love everything…The trees! The thorny bushes!  The carpet fibers! The cat’s ass!”

10. You’d be the start of a tradition…and who doesn’t like to be able to say, “I STARTED THAT. I participated the FIRST DAMN TIME…I’ll bet you can’t say THAT. Exactly. I’m awesome.”

And we all like to be awesome.

Like the awesome people who have already sent their thankfulness.

At least they’ll be able to breathe easy come Thursday…

(and if you’re one of those few breathing easy…feel free to leave lots of chiding, guilt-inducing comments)

what do we do? we fuck it all up.

Today was actually going to be an all nicey-nicey warm and fuzzy post…cause I was going to talk about last night…our 5-year-the-day-we-met-in-person-a-versary.

Fuck that.

Guess what the hell happened to us this morning? Because, I mean, when does anything in our lives EVER GOES AS PLANNED.

That’d be too easy.

So, what happened? Well…………

We’ve run in the same damn Turkey Trot the past three years…two of those with no issues…

This year?

We manage to fuck it all up and run the wrong direction, thus not *technically* running the requisite 3.1 miles.

Now, before you’re all, “you are so stupid…can’t even run a race the right way” - we weren’t the only one…it was a group of us not sure which direction to go, only knowing that the way we were headed was dead ass wrong. So, apparently, we were among a collective gaggle of idiots.

And instead of using our own brains, Tim and I played follow-the-leader like dumbasses when we should have broken from the pack and ran back to figure out where we went wrong.

If you’ve never run a race, well, this probably won’t make any sense to you but: WE WERE WE ARE PISSED.

Finishing a race that you didn’t exactly complete sucks big, fat unicorn balls.

Finishing a race where you had a shot at WINNING in your respective age group? Well, we still aren’t able to talk about that without wanting to destroy something very large and very fucking expensive.

After we ran through the finishers area, I decided to turn around and run back down the trail to figure out where we went wrong…because it would drive me crazy NOT. FINISHING.

I found it.

A sharp ass, 90 degree right turn that wasn’t clearly marked.  Next year, they need to put up a massive, talking sign or stick someone at the turn wearing a sandwich board. Either way, the message needs to be clearly stated: “THIS WAY. FUCKTARDS”

Then…maybe we’ll pay attention…because after slumming through dirt and mud and dodging trees and random, rubber ducks tied to low-hanging branches (aka “duck” ….)? You just want to run…without thinking. You don’t want to have to be all McGuyver-like, looking for the path to lead us to the promised land.

As I was walking back to the trail, Tim (who sat at the finishers area and watched, fuming over our mistake) overheard a lady who just finished, talking about me and pointing as I walked by all, “SHE’S ONE THAT WENT STRAIGHT!!! CHEATER FACE.”

I wanted to whip around and be all, “I’m going back to find where I went wrong and I didn’t even put my name and my time in as a finisher, asshole. So technically, I don’t even EXIST. Which probably means you should sleep with one eye open.”

It has not been a pleasant post-Turkey Trot morning in the Bold household.

I told Tim that one day we’d laugh about this.

He didn’t think that was very funny.

The good news? We’re about to stuff our faces with lots of food…yay Thanksgiving # 1!

I did have Tim take a picture, though. This is me, post-race.

I'm only smiling because there's a camera. And I'm about to fart. You're welcome.

And my dirty feet.

I swear. It's mud. I think?

5 years. a picture story

Today marks 5 years Tim and I have *known* each other. We celebrate this day…our day-of-the-month-we-met-a-versary.  We’re special that way.

I truly cannot believe how much has happened since 11-20-2004. 

It’s been 5 years of…well, more than I ever expected. And damn. We’ve changed.

me: "Holy shit. He's 13 years older and probably thinks I'm retarded." Tim: "I'm totally awesome. Score."

me: "So I'm wearing jewelry and sitting inside a mountain. Whatever." Tim: "She's still here. I'm awesome."

me: "We're engaged! And we totally just spent an entire day painting pottery. Yay!" Tim: "I just painted a damn pot and used a princess dress stamp. Not awesome."

Me: "??!@$" Tim: "Ummm. No. We're married. You don't touch the knife. Or anything else with sharp edges. Including tupperware."

me: "Run up the snow hill! Hurry! It'll make an awesome picture!" Tim: "That's not a snow hill. It's a drift. And it's unstable."

Apparently 2008 was the last year we took pictures together.  All I could find were pictures of me…or of random things like leaves. I mean, there’s the Utah set – but those are all on Flickr…and you’ve probably already seen them.

I’ll make it my goal to take pictures over Thanksgiving so we can prove we were actually *together* during the holiday instead of just supposedly in the same proximity.

Tomorrow morning we’re running our (now) annual Turkey Trot…yay?

And have Thanksgiving #1…with my family.

(So, you can surmise what that means…)

when shit hits the fan…

…you get the hell out of the way.

Unless, of course, the fan is in an empty round room. And then you’re fucked.

That’s kind of where I’ve been lately.

Getting pummeled with shit.

From the fan.

But yesterday…it’s like someone finally threw me an umbrella (I say “UM-brella” and Tim thinks this pronunciation is totally ass backwards. He will tell me that I put the em-PHA-sis on the wrong syl-LA-bla)

And I know I spelled syllable wrong…I spelled it the way Tim says it when he’s trying to make his point that I say umbrella phonetically retarded…so I was trying to help you…so you would read what he says correctly in your brain.

So it would be funny.

But now it’s not funny because I’m sitting here explaining why it’s supposed to be funny…damn.

Anyway, I am utterly blown away at the response from my not-really-for-serious…more like severely-struggling-with-all-the-shit-that-keeps-piling-up threat to quit booshy.

booshy is my outlet…

Sort of.

I mean, I’ve been totally honest with you.  You know my name.  You kind of know where I live.  You know that I’m an anal-obsessive-perfectionist looking for something so few find.

But there are a few things that I do keep close to the chest (shocker, I know). And just FYI: none of those things have anything to do with my little *secret* that is almost a secret no more.

And the secret is not even THAT big of a deal…it’s just a little surprise that’s taken a lot of work…and will hopefully be worth all the effort.

Anyway - those *things* I don’t talk about on booshy are the tidbits that make for really boring or really frustrating reading.  They aren’t funny, at all.  They’re serious.  It’s the real life drama that is best kept between only those involved.

And we all have it.  If you don’t, you are either living in a box out in the middle of nowhere (which probably means you don’t have access to the internet…and aren’t reading this anyway) or you’re a robot.

Let me answer the questions I know you’re thinking:

Is anyone in the hospital/sick/hurt/discovered they are really an elf: No.

Pregnant/adopting/magically fertilized by a unicorn: No.

Moving/job woes/unwanted surprises surfacing from the toilet, like an alligator: No. Well, Tim’s job can really be a pain in the ass…and Albert actually snapped at Lexi the other day for getting too close to his lair, but that’s nothing new.

Stress/anxiety/severe constipation: I think this happens to everyone.  And I have the answer -  swallow about 5 candy-coated exlax pills and then immediately go for a walk while pretending you’re being chased by winged clown heads. Then about halfway through, start praying to the porcelain gods that you don’t explode all over the sidewalk before reaching their sanctuary. Cause the clowns would totally jump all over that.

And by the time your bowels are empty, you’ll forget whatever it was that was bothering you…cause nothing is better for short and long-term memory loss than that kind of explosion.

We all have ups and downs.

I have been experiencing a down.

Not like, black-hole-no-way-out kind of thing…more like too much shit day after day after day…combined with growing pains.  I mean, I’ve come to terms with being a spoiled brat…but there are many, many, MANY things I’m still learning…and every time I do something incorrectly that *most* of you are probably already pros at, I get knocked down all, “Wrong, bitch! Try again.”

And that’s been happening a lot lately.  I mean, the build-up of mud has been awesome for my complexion but I’m pretty much getting tired of having to strip down and change clothes every five minutes.

But all of your comments…they helped me see that there is a light somewhere in the distance…that this is not done in vain…that booshy has become…well, booshy.

And you’re helping me learn, even though it doesn’t seem to matter how many warnings I get.  Apparently, I actually have to fuck it all up myself a requisite 17 times before I finally get it right.

But at least you tried to warn me and you give your two cents while watching the shit storm unfold that is my life.

Those two things mean more to me than I could ever express.

(Actually, I think that was three…dammit)

Thank you.

You make me smile.

(did I say “fuck” the appropriate amount of times? Yah, still struggling with balancing the fuck-scale)