I’ve said before how bugs and I do not get along. When Tim and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, he had me convinced that there were no scary, poisonous creepy-crawly things on the islands and for me not to worry.
Boy, was he wrong.
We reserved a candlelight dinner by the ocean at our hotel, the Princeville, on our last night in Kauai. We had our own little canvas cabana tucked in the trees and right on the ocean. Our personal waiter even took a picture of us at sunset so we could capture the moment.
Everything was going as planned – romantic, pleasant, peaceful…until I saw Tim look up into the folds of the roof of our shelter and then quickly back down again. I looked over and was like, “What? What’s wrong?” He just shook his head and said, “Nothing. Just eat.”
Well, I wasn’t having any of it, so I looked up at the spot he wanted me to avoid…and the biggest, hairiest spider I have EVER seen is sitting there, waiting for the perfect moment to drop on my head and suck out my brain. I jumped out of my chair, grabbed my napkin and threw it over my head. My panicked self said that the napkin would stop his pincher’s from gaining access to my skull.
I couldn’t concentrate on anything except the spider. Romance was not an option. I gave Tim a look that said, “Don’t you dare even think about asking me for a kiss or anything else that might break my line of vision with the intruder. I am trying to survive the meal without being lambasted from above.”
Tim had to convince me that sitting in my chair would not make the spider angry enough to shoot poisonous darts at my neck and render me unconscious. Reluctantly, I sat, napkin still on my head, looking up at our unwelcome guest every few seconds. We decided to have dessert inside the hotel where they had pest control.
As we walked to the safety of the indoors, I wouldn’t walk under any trees or poles or lamp posts. Tim had to cross first into any uncharted territory. That spider was outfitted with night vision goggles and laser beams and was stalking me as prey, waiting for me to walk into his trap. Well, I had news for him. TIM would be the one walking into the trap, not me. He just got married and as his wife, I decided he was going to take one for the team.
Even Tim admitted it was a big spider, which means I wasn’t crazy.